8/7 Pix in Book Six: Trying to Hold On 2019
- Aug. 7, 2019, 9:48 p.m.
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- Public
Today… is a day. lol. My compassion fatigue for Domestic Violence victims is getting worse. We have a case where boyfriend was cheating on girl, girl confronts him, boy kicks her out of a door. Lucky us! There was a witness to this; one of the victim’s friends was present. Except after all this time, the Victim has alienated that friend specifically because she was a witness to the abuse. One of those classic stories of, “Why did you go back to him after what he did?” Responded to with, “Don’t judge me, bitch.” And so now they want nothing to do with one another. Meaning our witness doesn’t want to testify. Meaning once again the victim of the violence has quite effectively protected her abuser from being held responsible for his abuse. Pisses. Me. Off.
Plus, just had a meeting with a stalking victim. Shy, sweet girl that doesn’t want anyone to pay attention to her and feels really awkward speaking up. The back part of my mind where cynicism meets cold fact thought, “This is exactly why he targeted you. You were nice. You were female. He thought you’d never speak out.” The mouth part of me said, “It’s important that you came forward. Someone like this? If it wasn’t you, it would be someone else. So you coming forward might be helping another woman or many other women. I know it is awkward and a bit scary; but I thank you very much for your bravery.” Of course, after the meeting, I’m even more exhausted than ever. Compassion Fatigue is real; but you can’t let your victims see it. Some do. That’s true. Some attorneys are hard and act like The Case is all that matters. And they may be healthier for it. But the victim isn’t “the piece of evidence that was damaged in furtherance of a crime.” The victim is a person, too often a young girl, that just had something truly traumatic happen to them. Our business WILL increase that trauma. The nature of American Juris Prudence requires that victim to interact with her victimizer, to re-live her trauma, and potentially to detail her trauma several times for a public record all, often, while being denied and condescended to by Defense Counsel and/or the Press and/or people in the community. So, no. I refuse to treat the victim like a cold, object involved in my case. If she’s willing to speak with us, she gets my appreciation, support, and compassion. Even if I’m running low on it.
Picture Time.
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Tifa Lockhart from Final Fantasy VII Cosplay
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It is strange. A ProseBox Reader was giving me compliments on my appearance today and it struck me how different a world I’m in these days. When I was an actor in High School, I would (honestly) get compliments often. There was something truly THRILLING to know that some of the Back Stage Crew wanted to be with me physically. But… it just feels like years and years and years and years now. Probably why I want to loose weight so much… get back down to the size I was when it felt like people wanted me. But I imagine that is a part of the dysfunction in my marriage. Women don’t approach a taken man with compliments (and if they do, clearly then I’m not one of those men)… and my Wife, well… we know how that’s gone. It was just… interesting to acknowledge the dichotomy. Intellectually and emotionally I’m immeasurably healthier now than I was in High School… but I do dearly miss the notion that, even though I wasn’t sexually active, women wanted me.
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