Empty Dreams. in Whey and Sonic Screwdrivers.

You're supposed to spend your twenties figuring out who you are and what you want out of life. How to present yourself accurately and how to make yourself happy. Almost 6 months into my 30's, and I know neither. Maybe it's so disheartening because I expected so much from myself. I didn't know what to expect from myself, so I took on blind expectations that things would be better somehow, someway. Because without clinging to that hope, there is nothing to live for.

Even as Kira purrs on my lap, I feel the immense sadness of merely existing. How do people do it, just proceeding with their lives as if it actually matters? I hope to find my purpose, someday. Finding something that actually makes me happy. Sans that, I have nothing but empty dreams.