P.R.F. Prosebox 8/5/2019 in Book Six: Trying to Hold On 2019

Good morning, good afternoon, or good evening; you’re joining us here at P.R.F. Prosebox this entry being put forth on Monday, August Fifth, Two Thousand Nineteen. This past weekend has been a rough one, both personally and Nationally. There is much the United States should be discussing today; but whether those discussions will lead to any action at all… I have little hope. This past weekend, there were two mass shootings. One in Texas, one in Ohio. 29 were slain and 53 people were injured. The weekend before that, there were 8 mass shootings, killing 8 and injuring 46 all told. Two consecutive weekends, 10 mass shootings, 37 dead, 99 people injured. And what, if anything, is the through line? Several of these must be counted among gang violence or “neighborhood” street violence. At least two were directly tied to such acts; one shooting in Chicago directly targeting Anti-Violence Protesters in a violent neighborhood and one similar shooting in New York. But much of these, four at least by last investigations, were directly tied to White Nationalism. Most galling of all, the El Paso Walmart Shooter wrote a manifesto posted to 8chan (since been taken down) where he directly quoted the rhetoric of the President of the United States! Now, students of history and psychology will be quick to point out that doing so is nothing new. The words of powerful and influential men have been bastardized and misused since time immemorial. But this is very different. This is not someone quoting Manifest Destiny as the reason they killed their neighbor. This is not someone quoting The Bible to justify slaughtering a community. This is direct echoing of a President using the same words, intent, and emotion. This isn’t “misused,” this is directly stemming from. An invasion of Hispanics from Mexico and South American Countries the shooter claimed needed to be stopped to protect our country. Goodness, it’s like the hateful, vile, and violent rhetoric Trump has been using for three years has actually meant something. Now, of course, the President is quick to blame The Media because THEY are the ones that bring so much attention to it. Again proving that the man-child is either ignorant and dangerous or clever and dangerous; but the danger is to the Country at large. Because what does the Media do? They disseminate what the President says. You’ve got Left Biased Media sharing his talking points and saying, “What an ass!” You’ve got Centrist Media sharing his talking points and trying to discuss them without constantly screaming about how he’s an idiot. You’ve got Right Biased Media sharing his talking points and saying, “He is absolutely correct. This is a dire threat to America and something must be done!” Now, Trump blames the media because he thinks if he can get Left/Center to stop covering “his bad stuff” then everything will be fine. But the problem is… these White Supremacists and Alt Right Militants aren’t watching Left/Center Media. They are watching Fox News and calling it “Liberal Leaning.” Because it isn’t Rachel Maddow declaring this President to be a boob that is militarizing these radicals. It is Sean Hannity spending every night shouting about “A crisis on the border”; it is Laura Ingraham screeching about “illegals coming to replace us all”; it is Tucker Carlson stating that “our national wealth is up for grabs on a first come, first serve basis.” Fox News has been acting like State Media/Trump Media Partners since Trump got the nomination. And they are the ones that are spreading the President’s hate and bile throughout the country. And that should make us all horrified.

In the wake of this mess, Donald Trump has called for Background Checks. The GOP won’t give them to him. They, and their NRA donors, have resisted every background check law that has been proposed in the last 9 years. My own senator Joni Earnst has taken (quite literally) billions from the NRA upon a promise to vote down every gun control bill that is proposed during her tenure. It is, pathetically, one of the two big reasons she won her election in Iowa! However, this isn’t a serious background check push, anyway, as Trump tried to make it more palatable to Republicans by suggesting it gets tied into an Immigration Bill. The Dems won’t give that to him. They, and their 2020 hopefuls, have resisted giving Trump his “perfect immigration bill” every time he tries to cram it down their throats. So what we have is a Gun Bill the GOP won’t vote on and an Immigration Bill the Dems won’t vote on; but Trump and Moscow Mitch will try to make this out to be “Entirely the Democrats fault!”

Meanwhile, what really gets me? Is how blatant the GOP is about being more focused on hate than policy. How can I say that? Pretty easily, actually. Trump suggested a background check law that would be considered anti-NRA, anti-GOP. It won’t cost him any votes. Trump previously said “I like taking guns away early. Take the guns first, go through due process second.” (Feb. 2018). So, whenever there was a Democrat President who said, “Maybe we should do something about mass violence”; the GOP would start hollering “They are coming for your guns!!” When a Republican President ACTUALLY SAYS OUT LOUD that he would “take away guns” without due process… crickets. Not even so much as a Campaign to Remove him. And that is what I mean about hatred over policy. Trump could (and has) made the Republicans look like Hypocrites Beyond Reason (remember the 6 years of ‘deficit’ panic the GOP went through under Obama even though they are now exploding the deficit by larger and larger margins!). So Trump has shown that, in most ways, he is NOT a Republican President. But he’ll still get the Republican vote and support. For reasons of hate. And not just the hate you may be thinking of.
Trump will get the Republican vote because of the GOP hatred of Social Policies.
Trump will get the Republican vote because of the GOP “stated” hatred of Big Government.
Trump will get the Republican vote because of the GOP devout hatred of Democrats.
Trump will get the Republican vote because of the GOP raging hatred of Progressives.
Trump will get the Republican vote because of the GOP hatred of the politics of diversity.
And yes, Trump will get the Republican vote because of the White Nationalists who adore his rhetoric and repeated attacks against Hispanics, Blacks, and Women.

I’m not saying I hate all Republicans (remember, I was one for 10 years!) But the current Republican Party has sold its soul. If you are a Republican gleefully supporting the current regime? Then yes, I have an almost impossible time respecting you. Because everything you are supposed to stand for (budget cuts, deficit reduction, smaller government) is being used as a farce to achieve a completely different and morally polarizing agenda. If you can’t put COUNTRY before PARTY then I don’t even consider you an adult at this point. This President has continued to cripple our farmers with his bullshit trade war; the Coal Industry he made such lofty promises to has continued to fail and more jobs have continued to be lost there; the car manufacturing jobs he promised to prioritize have already left the country. So, his Blue Collar promises have proven to be hollow bullshit he failed on. He promised to help his rich friends deal with less red tape and get richer. He followed through there. He promised to be a bully and fuck up our alliances internationally. He followed through there. Fuck, at a time when we need strongholds in Asia the most… Trump inadvertently started a trade war between South Korea and Japan. Our two strongest Asian allies! So… if you want a hate-monger who is inspiring Domestic Terrorism while destabilizing the economy and international relations? Well, gosh, it just makes sense to vote Orange. Otherwise? Wake. The fuck. Up!

As further evidence of the Fox News = Hate Rhetoric, if you needed more evidence, I will share some quotes as discussed in the Splinter article entitled “Who Said It: The El Paso Shooter or Fox News?“

The shooter’s manifesto “spoke of a ‘Hispanic invasion of Texas.’ It detailed a plan to separate America into territories by race. It warned that white people were being replaced by foreigners.” Now look at what Fox News Pundits and News Crews have been saying recently

Tucker Carlson, 7/9/19:
This cannot continue. It’s not sustainable. No country can import large numbers of people who hate it and survive. The Romans were the last to try that, with predictable results.

Laura Ingraham, 6/18/19 podcast:
No longer can they claim to be for border enforcement, or “Oh yeah, we’re for enforcing the border, oh yeah, we’re for—we’re for keeping the country safe. And oh yeah, we’re not for illegal immigration, we’re for legal immigration”— that’s what they used to say That’s what the Obama folks and the Clinton folks used to say, but no longer. No, you’re for replacing the current American population, or swamping the current American population, with a new population of people who are perhaps more hospitable to socialist ideals.

Tucker Carlson, 5/21/19:
The American piñata has been getting pummeled for decades and now it has finally come apart. Our national wealth is up for grabs by whomever gets here first, and they are coming. Over just the past year, 1% of the entire population of the nation of Guatemala has moved to the United States. A Wall Street Journal piece last month described the plight of that country’s villages. Some of them are literally depopulating as people stream north to America’s generous welfare state. Meanwhile a new study from the Federation for Immigration Reform, FAIR, given exclusively to this show, shows the scale on which the United States is being plundered.

Tucker Carlson, 12/13/18:
Our leaders demand that you shut up and accept this. We have a moral obligation to admit the world’s poor, they tell us, even if it makes our own country poorer, and dirtier, and more divided. Immigration is a form of atonement.

Fox & Friends, 11/2/18:
When you see a lot of young men carrying the flag of their country to your country to break your laws, it looks a lot more like an invasion than anything else.

Laura Ingraham, 8/7/18:
In some parts of the country, it does seem like the America that we know and love doesn’t exist anymore. Massive demographic changes have been foisted on the American people, and they are changes that none of us ever voted for, and most of us don’t like.

This is a small sampling. The larger sample could take up MANY MANY digital pages. The “invasion” and “lessening of America” due to “Hispanic Immigration” has been a primary talking point on Fox News since early 2016. And the outcome of that is what we’re living with now.

Now we here at P.R.F. Prosebox would like to get a little more personal, if you’ll allow me. I’d like to discuss today a little more about the nature of my Wife and I. Who we’ve been, who we are, how we came to be where we are. Many have asked questions or offered insights and from those- I don’t think what I have to say will be surprising to anyone.

A few of you have suggested the book “Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find - and Keep - Love” by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller. And I’m pleased to say that it is an Audiobook I have free access to. So I downloaded it to my wife’s phone (as we use her phone to pair with her bluetooth in the car) and it is what we will be listening to when we drive to Dog Training, Couple’s Counseling, and other car trips. I look forward to the experience of going through that book and hope that there may be some useful and encouraging things that Wife and I may use in our personal lives and in our relationship.

As to our individual attachment styles, I find you’ll find no surprises but only “as expected” evidence of what has already been discussed.

To Wife’s attachment her birth/juvenile situation is obvious. When she was born, her mother experienced extraordinary Postpartum Depression to the point of massive issues. Her father was a farmer with both livestock and crops and so would be out at the farm working from 5 a.m. to 8 p.m. then head out to the races as he was a hobby Race Car Driver. Add to that the fact that, as she grew, she was an only child in a secluded and isolated rural area with hardly any other children to play with or befriend. Add to that the fact that, as she grew a little more, her father began an affair with the female pit boss of his racing crew.
So as to attachment issues? You bet.
Thing is… I knew about all of that before. So did Wife. The issue was “so that’s where you started, you gonna change that or work on trying to create healthy relationships; or are you just going to say that you had a rough start and stop there?” That’s why this specific focus of “attachment” gives me a little hope. The nebulous, vague, overwhelming declaration “Get your shit together” offers little assistance, no focus, and no specific path towards health. Drilling down to “okay, this is obvious. You have fucked up attachment stuff we can start to work on” is better.

To my attachment at birth/juvenile situation… also fairly obvious. When I was born, I was a sick kid. SUPER sick. Like passed around to doctors and hospitals sick. And when I wasn’t being passed around to whatever professional was being consulted; my Mom would have to take me with her to work because I was too small/too sick for the Sitters. So I’d go to the High School with my Mom but she had to watch after the entire High School Orchestra so I’d be passed off to the Drama Teacher for “make believe and dress up time!” Add to that the fact that, as I grew, when I did go to the Sitters’ none of the boys wanted to play with me and I was passed over to the girls to “deal with” so they reluctantly allowed me to play Barbie and My Little Pony… which only ostracized me from the boys more. Add to that the fact that, especially in those early childhood years, my Dad had to travel for work a lot and I saw my brother more as “rival, bully, provocateur” than as “friend”. Then let’s not forget that between the ages of 5 and 18, I lost almost all of my friends at some point to either moving away, disliking me, selecting a new group of friends, or (too many) deaths. So.... yeah. Attachment Issues as pronounced through anxiety, rejection-sensitivity, and clingy/neediness… definitely fits.

And I think THAT is why this is good. Wife really didn’t want to commit to any kind of “couple’s counseling” where she was the only one that needed to “heal” because that felt too much like bullying. An honest, genuine conversation about how we both have Unhealthy Things to Work On will make her feel a lot better about engaging in counseling. BUT since I’m not the type to believe in magical miracles and rainbows of pixie dust… even if Wife decides she doesn’t want to work on developing a healthy attachment style… this will still be good FOR ME so I can develop a healthy attachment style so that, potentially… if it comes to it… I can re-enter the dating pool without the immense baggage and issues that (no doubt) tended to sabotage me the first run through the dating pool.

My day today? My day tomorrow?

Surprisingly… not… terribly insane?

Today I was supposed to have a hearing at 1:00; but everyone agrees so, no hearing. That was it for me scheduled for today in court. So, I’ve finally taken to cleaning up a few things. First was my e-mail. Going through JUST ARCHIVING IT legit took 150 minutes! I have one Sentencing Hearing tomorrow and that is it for tomorrow. Of course, my WEDNESDAY is insane with 12 hearings… but then I don’t have any hearings or meetings scheduled for the rest of the week (yet.) So… that’s what is on the calendar for work. Of course… there are two issues I want to resolve today at work. One is: Do I get to help a Juvenile Delinquent or do I have to punish a Juvenile Delinquent? (His attorney essentially makes the final decision there). One is: Charging Document Time Lines. Our office has… NOT been doing this well. Which sucks. Because it is something we SHOULD do well. Ultimately, it comes down to officers not giving us their reports. But that’s bullshit. No offense, guys, but if you aren’t writing your reports within 24 hours of the event… you aren’t doing your jobs. Write your reports; get them to us; allow us to charge these guys. Otherwise, we can’t charge them! Big deal.

Other than that? Tonight is Dog Training! So… more dog encounters and 2 hours in the car! :) Today? I’m guessing I’ll make a phone call or two; write up two charging documents; read through some of Prosebox backstories; possibly do a Chive Page Entry for gits and shiggles… maybe actually work on one of my Stories in my Drafts folder.... I need to express myself sexually in more than just my hands… I need to put emotion and passion and what lives in my head and heart on paper… so I might even do some of that today, too.

Signing off!

Aug 1: S, A, V, M
Aug 2: S, A, W
Aug 3: S, A, V
Aug 4: S, A, V, M