Thyroid Ultrasound in Bittersweet

yesterday morning i had my thyroid ultrasound. The tech spent a long time looking at the right side ( where the swelling is). Turning blood flow on and off. She could barely find my lymph nodes. It was super tender and hurt a bit when she pushed on it. Now it hurts to turn my head. She said the radiologist would have it read by noon, yesterday.. its 4 pm today, and no call :( I just want to hear an update. I hate when i dont get one.
I got home and T said my left side looked swollen too. I think its because hes so used to seeing my rights ide swollen, hes never noticed my left. It dosent look swollen to me. Its not tender like the right side.
I got into the the Endocrinologist and got an appointment set up… September. Fuck me. thats forever. Im not used to waiting that long for a doctor, But its the only one and they do diabetes and thyroid issues. So… I guess.. whatever. It is what it is.

My sisters kid called me. Hes her husbands bio and her stepkid. I guess they are moving to Alaska next summer? Thats going to be hilarious. Buit good for them. I mean they have been living off my parents for the last 6 years. Ive felt SO guilty about moving in with my parents knowing my sister, her husband and his 2 kids are there, and my grandpa. But this is a bit better. That and Im more helpful and active in my kids lives then my sister is with hers. Shes only 23 and not really ready to parent a teen and 9 year old. But whatever, that is her life. My mom keeps hoping that me being around her will help rub off some adulthood on her haha. She has next to no interests. Just likes to get high and watch tv. Sure i love watching tv too, but im too busy for that. We will see. Ill probably use her for a assistant for shoots lol. That way she can get some hands on of something other then working at petco part time? She was interested in my camera when i was down there in January.

We hit up the farm stand today. Bought 25 lbs of carrots, 5 lbs of onion, and a tomato. 62 dollars. Sigh. The farm stands here are really expensive. Its locally grown so we are rolling with it. I hope they have lots of farmers markets there so i can enjoy getting fresh foods. Hopefully they have fruit. Here apples are 3-5 a lb for local apples, and then you can find blueberries ( 8 a lb) and strawberries ( 5 a lb) raspberries are 5 too. Its not sustainable to buy it. So hopefully its a bit cheaper down south! Although ill miss the Alaska potatoes. No one grows potatoes like Alaska! But its worth it lol.

ugh im feeling like crap. Pork chops for dinner tonight, Im having a kid fry them. Im really dragging, so i think im going to put my chores on the boys tonight. Im just feeling SO run down. I know its my thyroid shit, but im so sick of it too. My back hurts, my hip hurts, my head hurts, my throat hurts. and i just want to sleep sigh.

Emotionally im running on low. My friend is suicidal and ive been dealing with her navigating trying not to hurt herself. being committed to the hospital. trying to keep her active and moving and making plans and goals. Even though im nearly 4K miles away. Its starting to make me feel a bit run down. Im not always in the best place myself. So its hard trying to help her keep looking forward. But im trying. Just some days i want to shake her. I get it. Because ive been there. I dont understand everything that shes been through, abuse and ptsd. But i get the feelings of harm.

Ok i guess i should get going on my scarf, I had to stop crocheting it because i lost the ball of chestnut wool i was using haha. So i had to stop, and spin another harvest lol. Now to get it finished.