Pig in ❅journal 2019❅

My mom yelled at me a few minutes ago. Said she was sick of me going to bed all early and laying around all day and complaining. I don’t mean to. I’m just really tired. But she’s right, I started crying as soon as I left the room. I just wanted to sleep. I’ve been stressed. But I can’t sleep.

I just feel so useless, she looked so disgusted when I came back in with tears in my eyes. She started yelling at me again about how I was pissing her off. I just feel so ugly, so weak. She probably, no she had to have seen a fat ugly pig when she was looking at me. That’s the only way she’d look so disgusted. I have to be right. I have to.

I feel so weak crying under a huge comforter with my stuffed animals but that’s all I can do. I don’t wanna bother my best friend. I’m so weak, so ugly. No wonder no one loves me. I’m such a whiny bitch no one can even stand me. I already had to stop a few times to hold a stuffed animal and try to be quieter. I can’t cry right. It hurts and it’s kinda noisy. Like a pig snorting.