Character Flaws in Ultimate Randomness

So I tend to listen to this radio show on the way to school everyday called the Free Beer & Hot Wings show. As they say, its a stupid name. But they are entertaining to listen to and can talk about anything. Basically, they are the voice of the silent majority of us out there who aren't political nuts or extremists who have to shout out there beliefs all over the place and other people better believe them because they are right. Yeah, sure. No, these guys are very down to earth and easy to listen to. It can get silly to the point of being dumb at times, but it's worth giving it a shot if they broadcast in your area. Anyway, one of the things they talked about this morning was an article on BroBible.com about what turns women on, in which they asked porn star Tasha Reigns what her top 5 turn ons are. Surprisingly, it seems like they are probably similar to most womens' top 5. She lists her turn ons as confidence, accents (like New York....well, probably not that one but you get the drift), organization, power (as in assertiveness) and someone who is very physically affectionate (like cuddling, kissing and the like).....So, listening to this in the car, I sat there and said to myself, "Well, I'm screwed!" None of these things have been used to describe me anytime recently, if at all. If you couldn't tell from reading this diary, I am far from confident. Hell, I exude lack of confidence in myself in all but a few things. I am typically really good at my delivery driving job and I am book smart. That is about as far as I am willing to go. Don't get me wrong, I know I have alot of positive qualities, but I have alot of negative ones too and I feel like the positive ones don't count for much in my experience, and the negative ones are the ones that a woman would need to be positive to be attracted to me. As for the accent, I grew up near Boston, but I avoided the accent like the plague because it always sounded terrible to me, so even though I lived there for 22 years and I've lived in Tennessee for the last 10, at most people might notice a twang or drawl in my voice, but it is usually only apparent to people who don't live in the same area that the accent is from. Organization...do I really need to go into that? I am a stream of consciousness type person. Rarely do I plan things well, I have an easier time finding stuff if it isn't organized and my life is a mess right now, so that is out the window. Assertiveness...that is defined in the personal dictionary as a word that has never been used to describe me. Willing to help would be a nice way of putting it, but I think doormat is a more accurate term. And physically affectionate. I would love to be able to be this again, but hard to do that when you are single except with a dog or a teddy bear. And if you ask my soon-to-be ex, physical affection is not my forte. So, yeah, every time I read something like this, I know I am going to be alone the rest of my life. It doesn't shock me at this point, but it still sucks. Oh well, I could try to change the problems, but somehow I feel like I would have to change the core characteristics of myself that I really do like and I doubt I would like the person I became. If there is nothing else good about me, I do know that I like myself as a person and while I really do need to tweak a few things, I would never want to be like someone else. I am who I am and that's just me. Good thing it's good enough for me, because I will be the only person having to live with me from now on.