Dive Right In in Book Six: Trying to Hold On 2019

I had a really tough time sleeping last night. I’d get two hours, then wake up. Repeat that pattern from midnight until 6. But then at a little after 6:40; I discovered my wife being snuggly?! Wait… what?! Two things: first, Nala had decided to take up residence on Wife’s pillow after Wife got up to go to the bathroom so Wife opted to be snuggly as opposed to wake up and move Nala. Second: she had a nightmare where she was in a large crowd of people trying to find me and she couldn’t. She was very disturbed by the dream and wanted the reassurance that comes with physical contact that I was there. The cynic in me thinks that maybe she’s starting to pick up on how much closer I am to walking; so her subconscious is manifesting that understanding via dreams to communicate to her HEY HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF HE LEFT YOU?! But that might be an assumption too far.

Before going into today: Some splendid freaking news- Dog Training Last Night was a breeze!! Pathetically, it is easy to understand why. Thank you to my parents! Leaving Nala with them while we went to Hawaii was probably the key element to help Nala with her obedience training. They could give her big long walks every day, they could spend more time each day with her than I could, and they have 26 years of Dog Training Experience. Makes a big difference! And it really showed in training as she was attentive, obedient, and really engaged in the training. NOW.... comes a difficulty. The current lesson is to get her to stay in a DOWN position precisely where we told her to be for up to TWO HOURS. That is going to take a lot of work and a lot of time and we have until next Monday to get it done. Here’s hoping Wife and I can carve appropriate time to make it happen. Especially as we are going back to Des Moines on Saturday for my Mom’s 66th birthday.

For me today? Things… could be interesting? Or not. We’ll see how the first three hours go. My 9:00 hour is scheduled for two almost needlessly complicated plea hearings.
1: Typically, if someone wishes to plead to a lesser offense, I amend the Charging Document and call it a day. This defense lawyer said that would be insufficient so he wants the charge ENTIRELY dismissed so that his client can then plead to a brand new charge under a different charging document. Because this way will be easier to expunge. Uhm. Fuck, dude. You explain to the judge why you want to fuck up his organized court docket then, man.
2: Juvenile charged as an adult that needs to be released from confinement pending his 18th birthday but will require additional services to be placed on proper probation.

If (when) I can get through that… there may still be a relatively steady day with two more additional hearings, two more additional filings, and the inevitable emergency e-mails and phone calls. So that’s what I’m looking at work wise. After work? Almost a certainty that I will return home, encourage Wife and Dog to go for a walk, come home and watch TV where either Wife will cook something or we’ll eat a skillet meal before going back to bed.

Plug for a Cracked.com article: I have long had… differences… with how the Motion Picture Association of America does ratings. They can show a blowjob and, if framed properly, the movie gets a PG-13 or R rating… a movie showed a man eating out a woman (done tastefully, artistically, NON graphically as it was for a romantic purpose) and the MPAA gave it an NC-17 rating and refused to budge. Apparently, a woman servicing a man is something everyone above the age of 13 is supposed to accept. A man servicing a woman is too disturbing for anyone under the age of 17! Essentially… the MPAA is still run by sexual prudes that get their happiest of orgasms from violence. Why else would American Psycho be totally acceptable for its graphic depictions of violence against women… but the MPAA objected to the sexual scenes? Or why would there be arguments TO THIS DAY about words like “fuck” or scenes depicting normal human sexuality… but the animated Lion King showed two significant (somewhat brutal) death/fight scenes and got a G rating? LINK TO ARTICLE

BLOODY HELL!

Serves me sodding right for attempting to be a decent chap!! Bloody freaking… so… where do I start.

Details of the case itself are unimportant. Defendant shall be referred to as D as we would use in a Bar Prep Question.
D was charged with an assault. D wishes to go into healthcare and cannot have a violent conviction. Due to the circumstances of the case, it was decided that D could plead to a non-violent public disruption charge.
TYPICALLY: this is accomplished by amending the Charging File and making a motion to the court that the Charge be Amended to A Different Charge. This takes care of everything and makes things nice, easy, and manageable.

HOWEVER, in this specific case, that is not what was accomplished. Defense Attorney was worried that D would still not be able to go into healthcare if the charge was AS AMENDED. Defense attorney suggested that the Assault be dismissed entirely and D would plead to a NEW charge as filed.

I hated the idea from the moment I heard it but provided it was the right thing to do (even if the most convoluted and ridiculous way of accomplishing it) I went along with it.

Today was the day to implement. What has happened?

(1) Victim Restitution was botched and now I’m sitting with a $3,000 check that I can’t do anything with that is intended to pay for Victim Medical Bills.
(2) I need to determine how to file a new charge considering the initial officer’s affidavit for the Factual Basis no longer works for us.

So… I’m left with a butt ton of extra work in my lap all because I accepted a stupid process in order to get to a compassionate outcome. BAH! Mr. Christopher: NEXT TIME trust your instincts and demand regular procedures be followed!

And of course, now the Police Chief is very upset. Not happy that something like this has been requested. Specifically said he isn’t sure that he likes the “ethics” around it. GAH! Tie me up in more knots, thanks!

Also based on THIS Cracked.com article… I am reminded of one thing I often consider when I think “I should write a novel for fun” or “I should get back into creative endeavors.” The truth is: Creative endeavors should never never NEVER NEVER NEVER be entered into in the hopes of money, fame, attention, or even the slightest bit of social acceptance. Creative Endeavors must ALWAYS come from a passion, a desire to do so. The truth is… actors want/need an audience. We like attention and the audience is (truthfully) an ACTIVE PART OF THE PROCESS. But that is also why success on stage doesn’t always translate to success on film. With no audience, how do you perform? BUT, philosophically, that is how we should progress with creative endeavors. ACT even if there is no audience. PAINT even if nobody will see it. WRITE even if your language is lost to time. CREATE because you are someone who wishes to do so; and not for any other reason!

In other, tragically depressing news, someone once said One cannot understand the history of politics in America, if one does not understand the history of Evangelical Christianity in America. It is… true to the point of insanity. THE KEY ISSUE HERE is that Evangelical Christianity and Catholic Christianity are not substituted as “Christianity.” I want to say that clearly first of all. I do still consider myself a Christian. I do still think that I need to go to church more often for a number of Community Engagement and Spiritual Engagement reasons. What I’m saying is: I have faith. So don’t come down here shouting about “the evil of Christianity” because that kind of statement will certainly make me feel like you are targeting ME. However, I am not Catholic nor do I support the modern Evangelical Movement. So if you wish to come to me with your complaints about the Holy Roman Church or you want to lodge your complaint about “all these priests raping boys”… that isn’t me, you’ll need to yell at a different Christian. So to, this Evangelical Push to conceive the Republican Party as the only party with any ethics, morals, or love of God is not me. In fact, it pisses me right the fuck off. Many protestant Christians believed, prior to Evangelical push, that life started at BREATH. The breath of life that was given to Mankind. That changed in the 1970s. Many protestant Christians believed that it was important to follow the example of Christ as laid out in the Gospels… the current Evangelical Church would have been the very assholes to put him to death these days! One such case in point: Jim Bakker! Or any Evangelical Christian “Leader” that claims voting for Trump is a moral imperative. Because here’s the thing… you don’t HAVE to speak about politics as a church. You can. I’d encourage it if it can be done Biblically. But there is no faith based reason to support Donald Trump… unless you are a modern Evangelical or part of the Prosperity Gospel. If you follow JESUS, you would see the value in caring for one another despite skin tone or nationality. If you follow JESUS, you would know better than to think “being a bully” was a proper way to behave. If you follow JESUS, you would know better than to support a man that wants his political opponents jailed but argues for pardons for War Criminals. Fuck, just today he’s trying to remove millions from Food Assistance because (in his words) the economy under him is doing so well! Except… it isn’t. Wall Street is doing great. But main street is still screwed. We’re still hemorrhaging manufacturing jobs. The Coal Industry is still closing down. Teachers are getting absolutely shit on for pay. More people have second jobs “just to pay the bills” then almost any generation prior. But we don’t need to continue food stamp programs.

I would say the moral obligation is to NOT vote for Trump. I’m not saying vote FOR somebody else. I’m saying… spiritually, ethically, biblically… proactively casting a vote for Trump seems against the faith. Because Faith isn’t about “Merry Christmas” or “Pro-Life”… faith is about the choices you make every day. And a constantly lying, multiple philanderer, greed centered, narcissist… just doesn’t seem to be the faithful choice!

Matthew 25:36-40
I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry and gave you food, or thirsty and gave you something to drink? And when was it that we saw you a stranger and welcomed you, or naked and gave you clothing? And when was it that we saw you sick or in prison and visited you?’ And the king will answer them, ‘Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me.’

Sorry, last thing about Trump then I’ll quit for today (at least on that subject). So, it may not surprise you that I keep abreast of the Democratic Candidates for President. Of course, my support goes to Kamala Harris (Prosecutor in a Liberal State then Senator is a quality bona fide for me). But I keep abreast of the others as well. I’ve noticed an aggravating, stupid, infuriating bit of trolling from Trump Supporters. I acknowledge that trolling shouldn’t “rile me up” because that is the only reason that Trolls exist… because they think that if they piss somebody off with their bullshit that it is “funny” or that they’ve “won” somehow. It is an immature, infantile, and intellectually deficient form of communication but I suppose this is the world we live in.

When Hillary Clinton ran for office; she was under observation by the FBI and considered to be a potential criminal due to mishandling of specific files. Trump promised to “lock her up” and his supporters loved the chant and printed a lot of merchandise saying “Clinton for Prison 2016”. In context, while this was juvenile and offensive, it at least made sense. I have now seen a number of trolls saying “X for Prison 2020” where X is the Democratic Candidate. THIS is alarming and terrifying. Because Trump’s Troll Supporters are abandoning context and abandoning pretext. They are now just blatantly saying “If you oppose Trump, you should be imprisoned.” “Kamala for Prison 2020” or “Bernie for Prison 2020” or “Biden for Prison 2020.” It… seriously pisses me off and also it does make me a little afraid. Because that is the very heart of tyranny. China before Xi made himself president for life held “elections”. Russia holds “elections”. But they aren’t real elections. You either silence your opposition, imprison them, or fake the ballots. Trump is already trying to silence (as is the GOP through a number of poll tax and other measures). Trump doesn’t give a shit about fake ballots (nor does McConnell who has routinely blocked votes to make the voting machines less prone to hacking). ALL THAT’S LEFT is the open discussion of simply imprisoning his opponents!

Going back to the work issue… sometimes reality and policy don’t sink up too well.
Defendants are required to have charges filed against them within a very short, specific time window. IT IS NOT 24 hours as some TV and Movies suggest. And there are conditions that change things over time. If an individual is arrested, taken into custody, and does not secure their release from jail… they must be charged within 10 days. If an individual is arrested, taken into custody, and does secure their release from jail… they must be charged within 45 days. If a person waives their right to a speedy indictment; they must be charged within 90 days. HOWEVER… remember how I said that our judge here wants us to “prove up” the case before we charge sometimes? Yeah. I’ve got a lady whose house experienced vandalism. That could be charged as a 1st Degree, 2nd Degree, 3rd Degree, 4th Degree, or 5th Degree based on the cost of repairs. Defendant has been arrested, taken into custody, and has not secured their release from jail. So I have to charge him within 10 days. She can’t get me an estimate on repair costs until “some time next month.” That.. makes sense. BUT that also means that I expect the judge to reject my charging document since I’ll be charging 4th Degree without being able to tell him why the cost of repairs merits a charge of 4th Degree!

But I can anticipate a little bit of friction with this judge today anyway. He may be very particular but he’s also a bit of a hanging judge and isn’t one for my “Solve the Problems” approach to criminal justice. For example… young mother of 2 has 3 problems. (1) She works a job that pays her what it can, but it is food service in rural Iowa so… not great money; (2) she is a single mom trying to raise HER two kids solo and now trying to raise her boyfriend’s kid; (3) She has a drinking problem. This last issue is what brings her to our attention. Driving Intoxicated with Children in the Car. My approach? This woman desperately needs some Substance Abuse Counseling and to talk to someone about why she deals with her problems through obliteration. The judge?

Well, surprises and non-surprises. Surprised me by giving the Defendant a chance. In this case: good. I’m not coddling to folks with mental health issues or substance abuse issues or hard lives.... but I will certainly keep it in mind when I’m contemplating sentencing. And there is a BIG difference between someone who hits up the bar, gets shitfaced, and drives home on the highway… versus someone who is drinking with her boyfriend, gets in a fight, and drives home a few blocks. JUST MY TWO CENTS! There are sincere and legitimate arguments to be made against me, and I acknowledge and appreciate that! What does NOT surprise me is that my Charging document was rejected. Because of course it was. If we don’t have the information to support our charge; I have to agree with the Judge (though I’m sure he thinks I’m being difficult). But that’s the balance in this role. I have a victim, I have the public, and I have a repeat offender with violence and property damage. I have to charge, even if I know the judge will reject it. Because then I can say, “I did what I could. We asked for information from the victim and she did not provide us that information. The judge could not accept the charges without that information. I have done what I could.”

So now? Now I have to wait for (1) Complaint File to Respond with Plea Form; then write some thank you letters. Oooo, and eat lunch. I can’t forget about that. (scampers off to make food in a microwave).
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I have a friend, former military, who is adamant that Toxic Masculinity is not a thing. He is of the belief that what we call Toxic Masculinity is the very Masculine Ideal which wins wars, makes men strong, and conquers the world. We typically agree on many things and can debate those things that we don’t… but this one just.... he doesn’t seem to be able to separate the concept of “Functioning Human Male” and “Masculine Stereotypes and Ideals”. The below isn’t a brilliant story about winning one against Toxic Masculinity… but it is a start. Because if we keep telling boys that the ONLY definition for a man is a bottled up muscle bound violent minded brute? We’ve destroyed our children for the sake of “keeping them from being different.” And truly SHAME on ANYONE who is motivated to “protect their child from being themselves.”

Twitter user Daddy Files is a dad of 3 boys and he tweeted this story about how toxic masculinity and gender norms affected one of his young sons:

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Shit. I hate when my brain and my office organization both fail me. It turns out there WAS something I was supposed to file while I was on vacation and I didn’t because I was on vacation. FUCK. I need to figure out how to avoid that kind of shit in the future! Fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck. Three things today that were not done to my typical standards. I NEED TO DO BETTER.
(1) Clean deals, not allowing Defense Attorneys to offer “creative solutions”
(2) Straight forward payment shit; don’t broker payment deals through our office, go through the Clerk of Courts!
(3) BE ON TOP OF YOUR CASE TIMELINES! GAH!

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Honestly… sometimes they can be the same people

Instead of posting photos from an album entitled “Thigh Gaps and Why We Worship Them” I want to come out here and ask some bloody questions about this new phenomena. Granted, attractive women are attractive and I’ll give proper kudos and internet shares to them that I wish… and I’m a proper leg man so any fad or trend that focuses on the legs or leg area generally has my support. AND I have a friend that I find quite attractive that does have a thigh gap. (Pictured below). BUT here’s the kicker, folks, I don’t think she’s attractive nor would I consider anyone more or less attractive due to the presence of Thigh Gap. I passionately embrace the idea that people will find certain things attractive that others won’t. My affinity for legs often gets me roped in with Foot Fetishists and I certainly can’t understand their obsession with feet. But this isn’t “foot fetish” hide in a closet because you aren’t acceptable. The thigh gap seems to be an out and out public “this is a beauty standard” thing. And… correct me if I’m wrong… but this isn’t even Fat Shaming kind of beauty standard. This isn’t “only thin girls have a thigh gap so that’s why it is desirable.” There are legitimately thin women that do not have thigh gaps. It’s a positioning of the legs through muscle and skeletal genetics. I don’t know. I just… beauty to me is seen in the face, the hair, the body, the legs… when you get down to the infinitesimal like “Thigh gap yes or no?” I just think… you’re going too minuscule, mate. It’s like despising Morena Baccarin because her smile is slightly crooked. It’s like… really? You really want to be that nit picky?

There are two things the internet makes me feel typically.
(1) So… modern dating for adults is an absolute cesspool, isn’t it? Like… I’m learning that especially for a guy under 5‘10… with a little extra weight… over 30… in the midwest… there’s pretty much no positive experiences. Awesome.
(2) There are loads of entries and stories and advice columns about sex. Like “This sex was so awesome” or “Here’s how to have better sex” or “What to do to drive her wild” or any number of those. And I’m smart enough to know that no “generic, widest audience possible” thing is going to be even close to correct. BUT it does make me (at least a little) more upset about my situation. Because, and more experienced people disagree if you’ve found this to not be true, sex seems like something that you get better at by having it, yes? Like… someone may absolute suck at Ice Skating when they first try it… but with enough practice and work, they can become Olympic Caliber. I imagine sex would be the same… especially if you’re in a relationship where you can discuss your particular fantasies, desires, fetishes, and really open up about how to “get you there”. And that is one of the (many) things I hate about this mostly celibate experience I call My Life. I really genuinely honestly want to be involved in a fun, satisfying, fulfilling sexual relationship where I can improve as a lover. Does that sound weird?

Last updated July 23, 2019