RIP Harley in Current Events

I’m sad. I didn’t think I would be, honestly. A few weeks ago I said that I hated dogs and I felt bad for putting that thought out there into the universe. To make up for that I had been taking my sister’s dog, Harley, out for walks. Not as much as I could have. She is a handful. Today we had to put her down. They had asked me to bring her to that appointment but I asked them to explore other options first. They asked Matt’s mother to do it and as soon as she saw that I was home she told them that I should just do it. Then she drove off. Like, don’t make the vegan bring an animal to its death sentence. I took Harley for one last walk and then bargained with my sister to take her. I agreed to watch her kids and cook them all dinner. I was so flustered. We explained to Madalyn yesterday about what was happening with Harley today. She was a three year old about it but she seemed to understand.

Just when I was sure that I felt Harley cross over Madalyn started to cry in the corner of the couch. She was perfectly content colouring just seconds before that. I asked her what was wrong and she said that she is sad because Harley is never coming home. I knew that Madalyn was an old soul. I wonder if she an empath like me. She can sense and see the spirit in this house whenever I do so I’ll assume that she is.

When my sister came back she told me all about it. She bawled her eyes out, she didn’t know that it was going to happen that fast. I asked her if Harley was scared and she told me that she wasn’t. That she was happy-go-lucky and wagging her tale when they asked her to lay down. Then… they injected her and she collapsed within two seconds and she was gone. My sister never wanted a dog and so she did not have much of a relationship with Harley.

I can’t stop imagining what Harley must have experienced. She was excited about the car ride there, then she felt safe with my sister and she was probably excited to come back home to eat. It just breaks my heart that she trusted us and we… broke that. I mean, yes she was suffering and we could not make her condition better but it’s still sad that it had to end this way. I was finally starting to bond with her.

I went for a walk after I ate and I swear that all the animals in my neighbourhood are… I dunno what to call it but they’re getting too close. I had to chase away a bird that wouldn’t fly away from me. Then a squirrel ran up the tree right beside me and just starred me down. Then two deer and endless rabbits. Then when I got home from a drag show I decided to go for another walk. I noticed that it was a full moon and I wanted to walk to the end of the street to see it and I crossed paths with a black cat that refused to run away from me. What in the witching hour is going on?