because apparently only a survey can bestir me... in survey time

July 15, 2019, 1:10 p.m.
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Public

… to make an entry. And this is a really really REALLY random survey. I have also cut out approximately 452,640 questions. You’re welcome!

Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them?
No, and I have to admit that not only am I officially old, I have also turned into my mother. I often find myself thinking, while rummaging in annoyance through the jeans racks, “Why on earth would I pay perfectly good money for clothes that are already ripped all to hell?!?”

I used to wear jeans with holes and rips. When I was much younger. But I wore holes in them and ripped them myself, after wearing them for a zillion years! I didn’t buy them that way; I got my rips and tears and holes through my own hard work!

You damned kids get off my lawn.

Do you celebrate 420?
I have no idea what this means. Whippersnappers.

Do you get the full 8 hours of sleep a night?
My Fitbit tells me I usually get more like 6 or 7.

If anyone came to your house on your “lazy days” what would ya’ll do?
Oh, look, it’s a Southern Survey! Well, firstly y’all need to learn how to spell “y’all”. Secondly, every day at my house is a lazy day because we are lazy people and you’uns best call before dropping by because I will pretend I am not at home so I don’t have to be mortified by the DisasterO’Rama that is my house . Well, I’ll ignore your call too, so probably best not to even bother.

Who last grabbed your ass?
EXCUSE me, Survey???? I would take an even dimmer view of someone grabbing my ass than I would of them showing up on my doorstep unannounced.

Do you own a pair of Converse?
I think I had a pair when I was a teenager - the hightops which were all the rage. Not any more. I do have several pairs of Vanns, but I fear Vanns are no longer cool and trendy. They are fun, though - I have a pair of galaxy ones! They are also comfortable enough to walk miles in.

Do you eat raw cookie dough?
I haven’t eaten raw cookie dough in ages, but that’s mostly because I haven’t made cookies in ages. I haven’t had a cookie-making occasion in forEVER, and I’m not making them without an Occasion because Baker B and I would eat them all at once and then be really really cranky. I’m all about eating the cookie dough before it’s baked, though.

Have you ever kicked a vending machine?
..... no.

Have you ever stayed online for a very long time waiting for someone?
...... waiting for someone to do what??

Could you live without a computer?
Of course I could live without a computer. I really don’t want to have to do that, though.

Do you wear your shoes in the house?
No, I do not. I kick off my shoes the minute I come in the door. Well, unless I’m at someone else’s house, then of course I keep my shoes on. Because that would be weird. Unless they had brand new carpet and requested shoe removal.

Who or what sleeps with you?
The “what” worries me a little bit. Baker B sleeps with me, as do occasional cats. Nothing that can be classified as a “what”, though.

How many phones, house phones and cell phones are in your house?
Yikes. WELL, Baker B and I each have a cell phone. There’s also an old 5C iPhone that was mine then was Baker B’s until a year ago, when I got a new one and he got my 6. (Clearly Baker B is not one of those guys who has to have every brand-new gadget that comes along. He takes my hand-me-downs and clings to them till they die or become too obsolete to use). We haven’t had a land line in years, but I think there’s at least one old line-line phone stuffed into the closet. Maybe more. There are also a gazillion old cell phones in the closet. Like, 20 years of upgrades! It’s a little scary to realize how long we’ve been using cell phones. I still remember rotary dial phones!!! I still remember being on a PARTY LINE!!!!!

Is anyone on your bad side now?
Baker B was on my bad side earlier in the week because the tires in the Fit have needed to be rotated for ages, and he said he’d get the tires rotated and he said he’d get the tires rotated and he said he’d get the tires rotated and he kept NOT GETTING THE TIRES ROTATED and getting them rotated is part of the warranty for fuck sake and then I said “do you want me to make an appointment???” and he said “Yes! Yay!” so I did that and then I ended up having to drive the car to the shop before work because the appointment was at 8:00 and he got up too late to get there at 8 (and yes he IS supposed to be at work at 8 so that’s not a beyond-the-realm-of-belief hour to have to be somewhere) so I had to wait on him to get there so I could take the other car to work and he could wait on the Fit… basically, after nagging him for a month to do it, I ended up doing everything myself anyhow.

Then he called a plumber to come install the dishwasher we’ve had sitting in the middle of our living room since early April, and he stayed home all day with the plumber and I did not have to do one single thing. I just got to come home after work to a brand new dishwasher and brand new pipes under the kitchen sink and two working sink basins, and I got over being mad about the Fit.

Why has a dishwasher been sitting in the middle of my living room since early April, you ask?? WELL, because that is when our previous dishwasher suddenly breathed its last. We rushed right out and bought a new one because I HATE WASHING DISHES BY HAND. However, we’ve had a serious problem with the kitchen sink for ages, in that the pipes under the right-side basin broke. The side the dishwasher drain was attached to. So we’ve been letting the dishwasher drain into a big plastic tub for I do not know how long, and then dumping that into the yard. Twice for every dishwasher run. Which, yes, was quite the huge pain in the ass. Baker B kept saying he’d fix it, and I kept saying I would fix it because how hard is it to replace some pipes??? And of course since it was us saying it, nothing ever got fixed.

Then the dishwasher broke and Baker B determined that he wasn’t going to be able to install the new one. My dad installed the previous one years and years ago, when he was still able to help his poor pitiful not-handy kids out, and we both remember what an awful time he had - our house is old and nothing makes sense, especially the things that involve water and pipes. SO we decided this would be a great time to get the sink fixed AND get the dishwasher installed by someone who knew what they were doing, i.e. not us.

Then my dad went into ICU and then into hospice and basically we did not have any time to get a plumber in, and after things settled down we were so used to the huge box in the middle of the floor with cats sleeping on it that we kept not doing anything about it for even more ages.

But… it’s fixed!!!! The entire sink is functional now (I still can’t get used to using the right hand basin) and the dishwasher is great and NOBODY HAS TO DUMP OUT TWO HEAVY NASTY BINS OF WATER EVERY TIME WE RUN IT. It’s so exciting that it’s almost worth waiting so long. I REALLY appreciate the lack of effort involved in doing the dishes now. Of course there are still all kinds of problems going on with the house, including two other leaking water issues, but this was a very massive and irritating problem.

Wow, that was quite the lengthy answer to a pretty simple question, and since I actually started this last week, I am going to save the other eight million questions for later. Here are some pictures of the adorable Phillip as a reward for reading so far:

He’s getting so big so FAST!! Eddie and Cayce are totally used to him now, and alternate playing with him and smacking him. Which doesn’t bother him in the slightest - he just comes right back for more.

This is the dishwasher in the middle of the living room which the cats all looooooved: