She stated failure. She is soooo wrong. in Second 1st

So, as Rocky was getting ready for work he was talking about incoming storms and I said “Good because my assessment is Tuesday and I really don’t want it to be a good day” .... He momentarily freaked because his days off aren’t Tuesday and Wednesday anymore. “call your mom” “I’m not calling her at 8am, I’ll send her a text to call when she gets up” “call your mom” “I AM ROCKY”..... I sent a text and checked the date.... though I’ve been saying Tuesday the appointment is Wednesday the 17th.... I knew when I made it that it was a safe date/time as I had made a list of dates.

Mom called and I told her the issue and the freak out and the it’s okay.... then we talked for nearly a half hour. Resulting in this:

Joshua is at Vanderbilt right now. He’s about to be 9 in just 2 days and last night me made threats to kill mom and David with a gun and then cut himself with a knife. He was also throwing things at David. Mom threatened to take him to the hospital and have him admitted. By Gods grace alone they were able to get a bed right away. Vanderbilt is the only hospital within a reasonable distance to mom (an hour and a half drive) that will admit a child of his age for mental health issues. So going elsewhere wasn’t an option. They will strip his meds and get them right. Mom hasn’t slept.... She’s going to have David drive her up there later today to give Joshua cloths and snacks but Joshua will be there for a week at least. Sucks cause visit times are during my assessment there. I won’t get to stop in and see how he is. Unless we hang around Nashville another 4-5 hours to have visit with him in the evening.

Mom told me she feels like she failed and I let her talk awhile. She called David last night after admitting Joshua as she needed a shoulder and David had been drinking.... smh honestly have no idea why he hadn’t gone with her.... wtf. So she said not to be shocked if she called me needing to talk. No problem.... that’s my mom ya’ll never a problem to just talk. Anyway’s at some point she was talking about the nurses asked “If he gets too wound up can we give him Benadryl to knock him out?” “Yes, anything you think will help.” She went on to say she would do anything to make this right..... and I stopped her. “Mom, as a mom that statement means you can’t fail. If you are seriously willing to do anything, you can’t fail. Joshua is a different case than Scott, Alicen and I were. You are doing the best you possibly can and this is something he needs. You are willing to do it, therefore you are not failing.” I think she felt a bit better by the time we got off the phone.

I hate that he has such a hard time but I hope he has melt downs and is violent while he’s there. Just so they can have documented his behavior. If it results in him being taken again so be it. I don’t think mom can do another 10+ years of the way he behaves. She can teach him the best she can but she can’t control the chemicals in the brain. Mental health is not something you “fix” it something you manage.