exercising, kitty heimlick, guilt beyond the grave in Misadventures of West Virginia Woman

When i found out that i weigh 204 pounds and that i have been impulsively eating because of depression i decided instead of hating myself i decided to do something about it.

Due to me being between jobs i have $20 to my name obviously i cant afford a gym membership. I asked my 400 pound husband to go on a walk with me. He confessed he cant walk more of a mile because his weight is crushing his joints. I showed him some modified exercises he can do around his medical problems.I asked him go on a walk with me around Little Beaver State Park. He refused he continued to play Minecraft I decided i was above begging.

I have a Zombie Run! app on my phone i set it up for 3 miles. I listened to the storyline i jogged a little but decided to walk most of the way. An hour later 3 miles away from my house at 3 Brothers Collision i gasped for air sweating my husband promised me he would pick me up. I called my friend Patch asked her if she could get on Xbox live and tell Talan to pick me up for some reason his phone wasnt ringing. While i drank my tea waiting on him i cooled down i caught myself wondering if i might be able to walk 3 more miles. I will try another day.

Today using my sweatcoin app i was paid $7 for walking. I have been using this App since August 2018. I have earned $624.78 since then. I havent cashed it in yet because i am saving for something really nice. I hope to find some people to join me in getting healthier.

When i was a teenager i used to walk 10 miles before going to school with my mom. Now here i am 32 years old just trying to get back to 175 pounds. I wont starve or get an eating disorder i am just going to nap less and walk more.

Once i start getting regular paychecks i plan to pay for me and my husband a gym membership. I hope if he gets healthier we might be able to go out more together. I would love to go fishing, swimming and camping. Anything besides him playing videogames.

Today i poured out adult kibble for Harley and kitten chow for Ash. Ash decided try to eat the adult food and got choked. I flipped him over did the heimlich that i read on Pinterest. I coughed up the big piece went back to his kitten chow like nothing happened. I held him a bit and cried. Harley would have never forgiven me if he died. I love Ash.

Sometime this week i should start working for Joann crafts. I filled out all the paperwork i am just waiting to be out on the schedule. I cant wait to start getting a paycheck again.

My mom decided to criticize me about quiting my job at Ollies to start a new one at Joanns. Than she cried how dad is cold in the ground. She guilted me over him dying and me not spending the last bit of my gas to visit her. I told her dad never feels pain, goes hungry or struggle he doesnt need painpills for his pain. He doesnt get annoyed the man is at peace.

Dont guilt me for you being alone you got a damn car come to me and visit! I cant afford to enertain her right now.. I am behind on my bills struggling to get by she doesn’t understand that because she hasnt struggled since the 70s. I got $20 to my damn name and no idea when i will get paid again.. damn girl give me a break!

If i am not called in tomorrow i might walk 3 more miles if the weather is nice. I cant afford my finances. I cant control my mother but i can go on walks for therapy.