miss dad, ocd ckeaning, work soon in Misadventures of West Virginia Woman

I came home after a long day shooting off fireworks with friends and having a picnic to look at the tapestry dad gave me in 2011 when him and mom went to the beach. I wrapped my arms around the lighthouse tapestry crying trying so hard to pretend my dad was hugging me. I sat in the dark with tears in my eyes wishing my dad didnt die December 8th. Everyone asked me why i looked so sad at the cookout for me to say i am sorry this is my first 4th of July celebration without my dad. Since dad died i cling to plaid shirts and cry because they remind me of him.

Talan’s mom Dee spent the night at the house yesterday. We stayed up late cleaning the house. On the 4th of July. While the sound of fireworks were going off outside before Dee got there i comforted baby Ash and his mother Harley only to hear Coal and Ziggy cry to me for comfort. While Talan played videogames and watched Longmire i spent hours consoling all 4 cats. I really didnt want them afraid. I didnt fire off any fireworks on the 4th because my animals didnt need to be distressed more than what they did.

I stayed up helping Dee with dishes and clothes. Dee told Talan get off the videogames and clean the house. Talan was upset his mother told him this isnt just my job but his too. He screamed how earlier this week i forgot to do dishes because i was watching Jane the Virgin and doing laundry. I told him i might forgot to do the chore he wanted but at least i was doing any chore.

Today on the 5th we watched Avengers Infinity War. Towards dark we had a picnic, shot off fireworks. Dee like me didnt feel like she belonged. She decided to occupy her time by weeding and watering Scott and Patch’s garden. They told her she wasnt brought over to work but to hang out. Dee tried to help in the kitchen you could tell she was bored. She watched the fireworks with a frown on her face. She always wants to help and feels insulted if you stop her from cleaning. From the moment she can into my house i chipped in and help her do whatever chores her little heart desired. Her OCD will not give her a break till she accomplished her goals. Anytime she gone over we always battle chores. I wish i was a domestic diva like her.

Talan was having a blast with his friends while Dee was bored doing chores for her enertainment. Patch asked me why Dee acted like that. I told Patch she is just bored that way let her do whatever to help you out that is what makes her happy. Dee hung out till after fireworks and decided she wanted to go home to Covington because she missed doing chores..never in my life did i miss doing chores!

My miserable pms cannot be took care of by 800 mgs of motrin. My pms look me to 205.6 pounds stupid water weight. After i get done pmsing i will drop several pounds . The most i have ever weighed. I ate at the picnic bored to which means i ate to much. I plan to start exercising more and start cutting back on calories. I been stress eating the scales are telling me the scales are winning i am losing.

I dont start working at Joanns till around Monday or so. I hope they give me enough hours to get by. I currently have $10 in my bank account and not sure next time i have a paycheck. Money is tight but i am exhausted so i am going to bed..night