Sydney, That was cRaZy! in Adventures in paradise

  • Feb. 27, 2014, 8:20 p.m.
  • |
  • Public

Can't even begin to explain how last night was.

It hasn't been the smoothest of rides for me, this trip, especially in regard to online ticketing venues/companies. Not once, but twice I've been stung. If you've seen my bitching on Facebook lately, you'll already know this, but on Wednesday night, I went and saw one of my favourite Youtuber's do his first international live show. I wasn't sure how it'd translate across to the live stage, because online you can edit/cut/copy/photoshop and all that jazz. Well anyway, I bouht my ticket to that show on February 18th, right? I thought for sure that a paper ticket couldn't surely take over a week to arrive by snail mail, but by the time I had to catch my flight on February 25th to fly here to Sydney, do you think the damn ticket had shown up? Hell-to-the-no! Hmmpff. So, naturally, I had to leave without it. I just noted all the details like receipt number, paypal transfer number (THAT I found dodgy as. I've never had to transfer money to a persons paypal account before, but I did only because it was the only way to possibly buy a ticket through all the official websites and because of Paypal's buyer protection program.

So Wednesday rolls around, and the venue STILL hasn't replied to my email I sent 2 days prior (gah!), so I put my SASSiNESS on and waltz on down to the venue as soon as it opens, 9 hours before the show is due to commence. I loved it. As soon as they saw a disgruntled customer, they were like headless chooks running around trying to help me. I didn't think I was that scary. All I did was explain the situation and asked how I'd be able to obtain my ticket I had purchased. Originally, a bar guy told me, "Oh, you've got to do that online" and when I (maybe snarkly) replied, "Well I TRIED that...", that's when I managed to get somewhere. After a long while of them going on the website and being confused THEMSELVES on how it worked (like, seriously, who the hell designed your website!?), I realised what they were doing and told them I had already BOUGHT a ticket and was just wondering how to GET it. Sheesh, not rocket-science, people! A butch-lesbian wrote down my receipt number that I gave her, and simply told me, "That's all good mate, just show your ID at the door, and you'll be let in." blinks Really? No physical proof of a ticket-stub even?
I thanked them and vowed vendetta later that night if I wasn't let in the door :P

All was good, and the butch-lezzo remembered me from earlier that day and I was let in. It was quite a gorgeous venue, and would be perfect if you were launching an album or an EP for a few close fans or something, meaning it was small and intimate, with a bar and beautiful lighting. Curved couches surrounded tables in the lower area near the stage, for those who had purchased dinner with the show. I had only purchased the show, so was just told to find somewhere by the clipboard-lady (she doesnt deserve a name, even if I knew what it was, because it came across as a little rude, although she was probably just concerned on fitting everyone in). I was one of the first in line, so found a seat behind the little bar drinks holder area. The room soon filled up and it became apparent that I was most certainly the only person who wasn't there with somebody lol. This is nothing unusual for me. I've always been a bit shy and find ways to entertsin myself. I was pleasantly surprised however when a lady at a nearby table asked me if I was there by myself, and invited me to join her and her friends at their table. I was SO humbled and jumped at the chance. We made a bit of small-talk about me being there for Mardi Gras and how they don't really like the parade or the parties and instead just go out and see live shows or drinks a few times a week. See, that lifestyle would so be more my style, not that I have a bunch of close friends to go out seeing live shows with or anything lol. Hence, would be. They were a group of English friends (The Youtuber is British, so that makes sense) and a Canadian guy at the table. The guy next to me was a tall, really slim but fit guy probably only around 19 or 20, and he said he was always doing 'training', which judging by the look of him makes me think he had to be a dancer. The show itself was hilarious! Especially the start. There were a few bits that didn't quite hit the mark, and he did well to combat an overly drunk enthused fan when she started yelling out things during his gig, but overall, I feel it worked quite well! I left there with a sore stomach from laughing so hard.

I was about halfway back to my accommodation when I saw CharlieHides (the Youtuber I just saw) post a photo to his Instagram. He was at The Beresford posing with Kylie Minogue!!

Miss Kylie had decided to pop in to The Beresford Hotel, on a Wednesday night, for a surprise performance!!! I had actually seen a post on Facebook from some guy in my friend's list (I have no idea who a lot of people on FB even are) saying, "Kylie, you were amazing!" but I just dismissed it as him being drunk LOL. So when I saw photo proof that she was there, I turned around and walked all the way back. I couldn't see much when I was there though. A lot of police cars and a news crew were there, as well as a bunch of fans huddling around a back door to the venue, all trying to catch a glimpse I guess. She was definitely still in there somewhere.

Back to my online ticketing dramas - I decided to go online and book a ticket to the Underwhere? Party, which I have been to in the past and has been so much fun! It wasn't until I was IN LINE AT THE VENUE that I realised my ticket was for RezErection, which was the OTHER underwear party down the main street. My heart stopped when I saw that, because I know that was not the ticket I had purchased!! The website clearly stated "Underwhere? Party" but when I paid for it, I was sent a RezErection ticket (via a barcode on my phone). I couldn't understand how the hell a website created purely for Underwhere? Party tickets could possibly give me a ticket to an event that I assumed was their opposition! I even looked again at the sign outside the premises. Yep, same website I had used. Unreal. Un-fucking-real. Twice, I've been fucked around by online ticketing websites. Fuuuuuuck!! I didn't want to go to RezErection. That was more an older bear crowd, wasn't it? :o I spoke to a security guard at Arq about it. He ended up getting the manager andmthe manager was saying that wasn't a ticket to the party there, and suggested maybe I was looking at both websites at once? I told him that I definitely wasn't, and I'd screen-shotted the proof at why I was confused. He reckons I was the only case he'd heard of this happening to, but really, as if any other twink would even know how to get a ticket the same means I did. They were all just lining up on the night and payingmfull-price at the door. The manager was really nice to me however, and offered me half-price entry at the door. Which meant I'd have to pay another $25 on top of the $40 I had already spent on what I thought I was paying money for on THEIR ticketing website.

I was almost going to head back to the backpackers. Fuck it all. Fuck Arq. Fuck the Underwhere? Party. I was pretty upset about the situation and how I couldn't believe my luck :( I didn't have enough pride within me to fork out another $25 for no reason.

But, somehow, I faced my awkwardness and decided to make use of what I did have - a valid ticket to RezErection. I walked down to Midnight Shift, a venue I've never set foot in, they scanned my phone (all good, thankfully I'd brought my portable charger since I'd drained the battery proving to tbe Arq manager why I was right) and I walked through a sea of men all in nothing but their underwear.
I couldn't find the cloakroom, as it was all new to me. A photographer told me I had to strip then and there before answering my question on where the cloakroom was.

It was at the top of the stairs, right down the end. I had stripped down to my underwear and just shoved everything in my bag. I took out the cash I had and shoved it down my right sock, and my phone in my left sock. They put an armband around my wrist, which is SUCH a better idea than Arq's, where in previous years they just handed me a raffle ticket. Yeah, because 8 hours of gyrating with sweaty men to doof-doof club music in a dark room is going to result in me not losing that raffle ticket! Lol. They put my stuff in that numbered bag, and off I went.

I needed a drink. If I was going to fit in at all in this place, then being sober wasn't going to cut it. No-sir-ee! I was awkward for the first hour or so, but after more than a couple of Smirnoff blacks, I was at the point where I was SmaShEd! I was using my shoes to slide on the splilt alcohol on the floor. I was finally somewhat comfortable in that venue, despite being the only guy wearing pink cameo underwear lol. Some guys tried to kiss me on the cheek and wish me a happy mardi gras (as ya do), but then went for the lips to tongue-pash me. But these guys really weren't my type. I'm talking bears and older gents, some overweight. The only guys worth looking at, for me personally, were the buff Asians wearing jockstraps, because even though they were probably older too, they didn't look it and kept themselves looking well. So it wasn't all bad. It was toward the end of my night, around 3:30am that this cute guy came right up to me and started chatting me up. I certainly hadn't seen him all night, and he would have had to have been there since atmleast 1:30am, since that is when Sydney's lockout laws are. He told me he thought I was sexy and if I was with anyone. I told him I wasn't and he said he was by himself too. I found out his name was Liam, and he asked for my number, which I gave him. You gotta remember, I was smashed as a pirate's parrot by this stage and he was clearly the only attractive guy I'd seen besides the Asians. We just danced together and didn't grope or try to pash each other. We went our separate ways and caught up a bit a little later on in the night. They stopped serving drinks at 3am, as thats another new stupid law meant to 'curb violence', so I was sobering up and the clubs emptying out, and the line to retrieve bags was quite massive, so I decided to join it before it got even longer. Liam spotted me in the line and asked if I was bailing and seemed to get a bit annoyed about that, but reality is I was meant to be checking out of the backpackers at 10am, and it was now 4:30amish and I was still in my pink underwear, in a club I've never been in, trashed, in Sydney, during Mardi Gras week lol! Somehow, I found some sense. Liam was such a social butterfly. I watched him for a bit whilst in line on the balcony upstairs. He wasn't really making out with anyone or flirting, just smiling, having a good time. It was good to see. He disappeared from view, I got my bag (when they eventually found it lol! Wouldnt that be embarrassing? Whoops! Lost your bag with all your accomodation keys and clothes, have fun walking in the Sydney CBD in your underwear!) I must say, it was interesting just observing the older gay crowd throughout the night. In my drunkness and dancing my way through the crowd past people (moreso trying to spot guys under 40 let alone 30 lol) I thought to myself, "Each one of these guys has a normal life outside of this job - suit and tie job, business, maybe even a family." It was just interesting to think that whilst seeing all the sweaty bodies rubbing up against each other. And even in the bathrooms. Guys were all just standing at the urinals wanking themselves. To me, that seemed like an older gay thing to be doing? I was that drunk that I was simply there to use the urinal for it's proper purpose. I did notice quite a few decent dicks in there (it was hard not to), not that any of them were my type of guy physically.

I stumbled home, made a few drunk facebook status', declothed (again),set my alarm for before check-out, and am currently in my new hotel writing this!

They let me check in 3 hours early. So nice of them. Plus they have free wifi now! They open the doors for me. I looove this hotel. Such a contrast to sharing a room with 7 other guys. That German one on the first night was hot though. Felix.

I didn't even get a chance to talk about Sydney's Wet N Wild, or the Pam Ann show I attended last night. I literally haven't really stopped. I'm going to the Golden Girls puppet show tonight, "Thank you for being a friend". Apparently I'm VIP lol.

Sorry for the typos. I only brought my tablet down.


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