Random overnighter in Adventures in paradise

I decided to book a hotel overnight on the Gold Coast on Tuesday night, just to get away. I thought it would make me feel a bit better, just have a quick refresher. I had a look on Qantas hotels and just booked one that looked half-decent and had good reviews and offered bonus points. Might as well try and get something extra out of it somehow. Then of course I read that Qantas are changing their rewards program lol, so it’s probz shit now.
Anyway, the hotel was dated but it was nice enough. The bed was comfy. I went for a short walk on the beach after dropping my bags off and found some dinner. It started to chill off a bit so I went back and just watched TV. I haven’t watched free-to-air TV since moving out of my old place. I’m one of these new-age people now who just watches Netflix and Stan, other than Eurovision which I streamed online. It was weird going back to watching shows with ads.
The hotel offered free shortbread upon check-in, which was a nice touch. It was yummy too.

Alex ended up messaging me on Grindr when he saw I was nearby. He seemed to be pretty horny and wanted to come in to see me, but it didn’t end up happening and I suggested we catch up the next day instead. I just wasn’t really feeling it. I chatted to a couple of guys but yeah still wasn’t really feeling it so wasn’t too fussed, and they guys messaging me were way too masc for my liking anyway. I should probably delete Grindr but I know I won’t. I don’t talk to guys in real life, so why would I take away doing it virtually too? Lol.
The hotel staff added an hour extra onto check-out too for free, not that I needed it since I was up anyway. I just went and sat by the pool for a bit and used the gym for a little bit. It had good equipment but nothing for legs except a leg-extension, which is the one machine I hate because it just doesn’t feel natural to use it. Anyway, I checked out and went for a walk to where my Jetts gym is across Chevron Island. Except when I got there, I found that it no longer exists. WTF lol. It’s now some fancy fitness place, no doubt three times the price and shitty opening hours. I had to look on my phone to find where the next nearest was, which was Mermaid Beach 3.5km away. Nah. I ended up going for probably a 5km walk in a huge circle and stopped off for some sushi since I realized I hadn’t eaten breakfast (even though the hotel offered it for extra) so I was starving and didn’t particularly feel like collapsing.

I did see there was a new one at Australia Fair, so I opted to go there instead, since it was on my way back. It actually took a while to figure out how to get into the damn place lol, but yeah. It’s in the underground carpark, but it was good. I messaged Alex there, but turns out his new puppy got sick so he bailed on me. I didn’t mind. I like my own company most of the time anyway. I caught the tram back to Helensvale and walked around the shopping centre for a while whilst waiting for the train. I accidentallty made eye contact with some guy manning one of those centre shops in the shopping centre, which set my anxiety off. I then had a self-monologue about how those guys and charity workers should be made illegal and was playing out a scenario in my head of writing on the Brisbane City Council Twitter page about outlawing them because my anxiety is bad enough let alone when some stranger is hassling me for money. I should turn it back on them and ask them for money, as I’m sure they have more than I have. I know they are just trying to do a job, but I just feel like they are predators and I probably always will. The tactics and the guilt and the positioning themselves in thoroughfares erggghh. Anyway, I ignored him as I hurried past. I even exited the shopping centre and walked around and back into it again to avoid him on the way back.

Got back into Brissy rather quickly, which was good. It was only a night away but I feel it did something. I’m not sure what. Something to do I suppose. I think the most thrilling thing I did was eat some yummy sushi, so that tells you how thrilling my life is these days haha.

I’m back at work for another work-week. One of my workmates was asking me questions and wanting to use my RF unit and then not even half an hour later asked me how I was going as he walked past. All I could think was, “Wow, am I that forgettable?”

The whole time on the coast, I wasn’t feeling very confident in myself or anything. I did have a nice bath though when I arrived, since I no longer have a bath living in this new place. So I took advantage of that. I was just annoyed that my gym was no longer there, but hey I found another one so that was okay. And the Alex being horny and then not coming thing and then bailing was a bit weird. I should have just avoided Grindr altogether, but there’s always that ‘what if’ feeling, you know? It’s very rare but I’ve definitely met some 10/10 my-types on there randomly before.
I just remembered I was chatting to some bi guy who was only on there for a gay guy to suck him off. I half-considered it but then saw he was cut, which I’m not really used to. Plus cut guys have no idea what to do with uncut guys either, in my experience. He was like, “I only suck back if the guy is good looking” - so there I am thinking, “Umm so am I hot enough for you, or what dude?” haha. I mean, he wasn’t bad but I didn’t think he was hot enough to be that picky, you know lol. Maybe just a bi-mentality since it wouldn’t be a vagina? Anyway, nothing happened so didn’t matter. Some other guy messaged me and I think I’ve chatted to him before but I’m not sure cos of the new phone, so don’t have my old messages. I think he was the guy I met in the dunes that time. Anyway, I got off Grindr cos I didn’t wanna waste my time on there since I was only down for a night. This was just before I was going to sleep, and the bed was comfy so I can’t complain about that.

I’ve booked a flight down to Sydney in around mid-July, to see Ryan, but that depends if he’s even home, since he can just fly off at the drop of a hat sometimes. I used Qantas points for the Sunday flight since they charge so damn much for that day (saved about $100), but got a cheap $58 flight back. So that was the idea of getting some points back on the hotel. That’s how my dumb mind works sometimes. Just gonna go for my days off as usual. Hopefully I still feel okay enough to go by then. I think I’ll wait about 1.5 weeks more before giving my sample to see if I have the all-clear. I damn-well hope so.

Oh and apparently my nephew has knocked up his girlfriend, and this is news right after my niece gave birth to her kid, so way to make me feel old, kids!