The need to be sad in Bittersweet

So sometimes you just need to be sad in order to get it out of your system. Its a deep ever consuming feeling where you just have to let things go. If you dont let them go, then how will you ever over come.
thats me right now, riding deep waves, swelling between the stress and anxiety and the cry that comes with it. To rising above and being able to think, its going to be ok. But that is my process.
I had to laugh. I saw an ad for this app. that you put in your health concern, and then answer lots of questions.
It diagnosed me with tension headaches and anxiety. I laughed. I mean its true lol. In any event. It kinda made me laugh last night. Which despite it being after 3 am and really needing to sleep. I kinda needed. I did have to laugh internally. Because well. Husband is sleeping and he is super stressed out too. The problem with me being so emotional volatile, is that he feels he cant share with me without making my emotional turmoil worse. The issue with that, is that it makes me feel isolated and stressed. Yes we talked about this. But no it hasnt made much difference.

My son decided to sleep in the hammock outside last night. We laughingly let him. I watched him out there, blanket and pillow in hand. Boarder collie underneath. Pitbull near by. I know hes perfectly safe out there. 10 feet from the mosquito magnet. He came in around 2 am hehe. I think the bugs got bad. But until he gets up i wont know for sure.

I began the process of pulling in my hand spun yarns to post for sale. I love some of them so much and want to use them. But We need money more. The reason for the stress is my husband lost his job yesterday. After a perfect review and a raise 3 weeks ago. The boss refused to explain why. Sure he will get unemployment, But that wont even cover our bills much less food and needs for 5 kids. My work is spotty at best! In any event. Its super stressful and im still trying to wrap my head around everything.

So im trying to think of what should I do to make more money at home. Ive sold a few handknits this month. A couple hundred extra dollars which is great. Sell some of my yarn or fiber. I almost feel like i need a new hobby i can make and sell from. Of course those get expensive to start up too! Something that isnt as widely done as handknits. Even handpsinning yarn is either becoming more popular or people dont want to pay 35 or more for a skein of the wool. My angora can be upwords of 50 for a skein. Its expensive fiber and an expensive keep.

Of course i havent listed on etsy either lol! Fees. Im afraid of fees and paying something and not getting much in return. I guess that is the risk. Maybe if i can make enough money for the fiber estival i can go. Its not that the fees are expensive, its that the licensing i need is expensive. nd im not sure ill make any money back. Or how much ill make back. Its uncertain.

My “self help” workshop has us manifesting the person we want to be this week. We are supposed to method act or pretend we are the person we wish to be. This is supposed to be in relation to photography. But i guess the challenge today is more a competent adult who can function through the stress.
You keep on keeping on right.