100 Years _ in General

I’m fifteen for a moment
Caught in between ten and twenty
And I’m just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are

At fifteen I was in love, or rather a fifteen version of infatuation. Cathy. I had my lifeguard card and was trying to get a job at the base pool. My parents needed to drive south, so I was left on my own for the first time in my life. My parents and my siblings were only gone for a week, but I had an interview for the pool lifeguard job. Mom premade a ton of food and stacked it in the refrigerator. She even left me a steak to cook on the grill, because yeah, even at 15 I could grill.

I didn’t get the gig as a lifeguard at the base pool. Never heard back from them, in fact.

I never got Cathy, either.

I’m twenty two for a moment
She feels better than ever
And we’re on fire
Making our way back from Mars…

At twenty two I had been in Korea for the better part of a year. She had her hooks in me and there was no escaping her. A year later we were in Las Vegas. Two years later we had a son. And I had a mission.

I had been flying when I could gather up the coin. Another year and I was commissioned in the US Navy and in flight school. I have a video of my son following me around during the commissioning ceremony. He wasn’t quite two. I was 27. She was 32. I was in the best shape of my life and she was still hotter than the sun. I tried to back away. It didn’t work

I’m thirty three for a moment
Still the man, but you see I’m of age
A kid on the way
A family on my mind

At 33 I was an EA-6B mission commander. We were between deployments. I had to ask for permission to miss a portion of our pre-cruise works ups. That took a lot. In the military, family always comes second, but I was there for my daughter’s birth.

I went on cruise again. I spent eight months in Italy, working at the headquarters for the air war over Bosnia. More time at the Wing as a staff member. Refresher training. Two trips to Saudi Arabia flying over southern watch. Another cruise, this time Westpac.
We were separated, legally. I was a sailor. Let your imagination go wild. A marriage, two more deployments later I was in Maryland. No, that marriage didn’t last either.

I’m forty five for a moment
The sea is high
And I’m heading into a crisis
Chasing the years of my life

By 2007 I had worked as an engineer IV for a defense contractor. I moved back to Maine and spent a summer building grills at Lowes. Ended up as a database designer/Project manager at a local defense contractor. Quit. Fell in love yet again. Bankruptcy.

Fifteen there’s still time for you
Time to buy, time to lose yourself
Within a morning star
Fifteen I’m all right with you
Fifteen, there’s never a wish better than this
When you only got hundred years to live…

Half time goes by
Suddenly you’re wise
Another blink of an eye

I am so gun shy now. I know of at least three women who would be receptive of my advances. And I just can’t. I can’t risk the heartache again.

So I write. Maybe after I have my surgery I will regain my courage. Maybe. Or maybe it is gone for good.

Sixty seven is gone
The sun is getting high
We’re moving on…

Counting the ways to where you are
Fifteen there’s still time for you
Twenty two I feel her too
Thirty three you’re on your way
Every day’s a new day
Fifteen there’s still time for you
Time to buy and time to choose
Hey fifteen, there’s never a wish better than this
When you only got hundred years to live

Counting the ways to where you are. I suppose that will always be Audrey.

Songwriter: John Ondrasik

Last updated June 30, 2022