Breakup & Dependant in ❅journal 2019❅

So, my girlfriend broke up with me. I shouldn’t have gotten so attached, so excited to have someone who truly loved me for me.

I was angry, really really angry. She led me on for a week knowing she didn’t love me. Said she wanted to get married and wanted a family together. She didn’t even love girls. My heart was ripped into shreds, I started shaking and i never got out of bed the rest of the night. I just cried until it sort of stopped hurting, like anyone would in my place.

So I ran to my best friend who happened to be my ex and i clung to him. I was so happy, he loves me so he won’t get sick of me right? I won’t be seen as dependant or clingy, not with him. He won’t tell me to back off.

I was so wrong. So very wrong.

‘Listen, I’m here for you alright but don’t depend on me a lot. I mean I don’t mind it but I feel like you need someone to love in your life so you can focus on stuff.’

It hurt seeing that last night, from the boy i only felt safe with. To throw me away like that, I stared at it in shock my heart beating harder and harder. Then I went to sleep, feeling so heart broken i didn’t even want to speak.