Sick on my stomach in In the Kingdom of Suzu

I feel physically ill, I think I am in the acceptance stage even tho it is only two weeks, I know it is over. So much happened the last year and a half, it was all a waste. Things started turning around in January but then the middle of April came/beginning of May and things grew strange again. He actually told his cousin he had an apartment and there was someone else the beginning of May. I don’t know why he waited til the end of May to tell me. Two days before he left he told the therapist he was strongly considering leaving and all the reasons for leaving were no reasons at all, they were excuses. Of course the therapist did not know about her because when I called the therapist and told him everything he was shocked that Jeff lied to him as well. Yeah, there is still a small part of me that would hope things would turn around, it’s hard giving up the life dream that you had (retirement and having enough money to take trips). I have to find a new life, I hope I can find some sort of peace.