Almost Four AM in Hello

I can’t sleep.
My mind is a flurry of thoughts.
I guess jitters about the new job.
Plus I’m missing someone in particular, she knows who she is. I’m an idiot sometimes.
I was lying in my bed but my mattress sucks so I’m back on the couch.
Been feeling lonely lately (gee I wonder why.)
I sometimes wonder if I’ll ever have another relationship, I can be very toxic even on my medication. BPD isn’t fun and some of the forums I’ve read have specifically said stay away from people who suffer from it. That hurts. Am I not a person, too? Do I not have feelings, wants and needs as well?

Ugh, I wish I could fall asleep…the alarm goes off in two hours.

Wish me luck on today, y’all.

Last updated June 13, 2019