The Unchosen Single Life in Journal

I’m always sort of ..... I don’t really know what to call it. Horrified? Yes, let’s call it horrified, when these things happen.

Every time someone in my life chooses the wrong person to get married to, or just to have a child with, and it blows up in their face, I am horrified. And it seems like it happens quite often these days.

I was just on FB and came across a post from someone I’d known from my last full time job. He is a very hardworking, family oriented man. Nothing he wouldn’t do for his kids; he often spent his lunch going to their school to bring them fresh lunches and hang out with them for a few minutes before coming back to work (on a 12 hr shift) without having ate himself.
Anyways, the other day he posted how frustrated and hurt he was that he couldn’t see his son. The woman I remember him being with and he had had a son about a year after I stopped working with him, and I was happy for them. But when things turn sour like this.... it breaks my heart. I’m certain there is more than one side to the story (there always is), but nothing about anyone’s behavior on either side can possibly justify using a child as they are.

Several months ago now, I learned that my cousins on DH’s side (everyone is on DH’s side, lets be clear) are getting divorced over her being neglectful, irresponsible and drunk driving with kids in the car. C’mon, people. I don’t care what you do in your personal life. But please, please don’t expose your children to your bullshit.

Just a few weeks ago, DH got a phone call from his best friend- also best man at our wedding- to say he’s getting divorced. I was literally shocked. I had thought those two would be forever together. I still can’t believe it, but drugs to crazy things to people. She is on special meds for controlling a rare autoimmune disease, and recently had to switch drugs because the old one stopped working. It was after the switch that she became adamant about divorcing.

I’ve always sort of thought divorce was not really an option. Aside from the really terrible stuff; if you’re being abused, threatened or anything, you should definitely get out of there. But just silly stuff; I’m inexplicably not happy with our marriage? No. That is not a reason to get divorced. These frivolous decisions ruin lives, multiplied. You’re not only ruining your own life, but your spouse’s and the lives of any children you might have together. It’s a financial, emotional, and familial catastrophe, and should be taken much more seriously than it is, currently.