Sugarless Daddy in Current Events

My mood yesterday was pretty sour. After I wrote that entry my sister asked me to watch her son while she ran to the store quickly. He cried the entire time. His cry is three times louder than Madalyn’s ever was. It’s actually deafening. It’s very emotional for me to take care of him. Mom’s go through that all day long so I don’t like to complain. I wanted to lock him up in another room because he was inconsolable. I even had a moment where I thought to myself “I can’t love you!” and that was so heartbreaking. What is wrong with me? I was so disturbed by that thought so I just held him while he screamed. Of course, I love him.

I took my grandmother grocery shopping as soon as my sister returned. When I got back the house was cleared of all human life. I tried to workout but I couldn’t will myself to do anything. I only managed to do abs and then one pushup. My body was miserable. Nothing was acting right. My legs were throbbing from the run that morning. My head hurt and felt foggy. My skin is acting weird and I think it’s from all the sugar I consumed Sunday evening. I consume next to zero grams of processed sugar daily so maybe the alcoholic beverages that I had consumed, which were very sugary, just wrecked me. I was ready to lay in bed and just play dead but I decided that I did not want to be depressed so I blasted music and belted along to it for a few hours while I cleaned the house and did a little bit of meal prep. Like actually, I watched singing tutorials and played along lol. Can I sing? Heck no! But it’s fun when nobody is watching. I made a pizza and then watched Get Out before I got ready for bed. I was almost triggered by the ending! I was going to riot if the white people won lol. The movie was so good.

I went out like a light last night and I made sure that I slept well. K, so! I have these two crystals and when my anxiety started acting up a couple of weeks ago I put one on each nightstand. Now, is it a coincidence that my dreams are vivid and easy to remember since I did that? Or is there something wizard going on? When I was in Gimili that did not happen. When I came back I had moved them and it did not happen. So I put them back a couple of days ago and every single night I am having vivid, rememberable dreams. I have not experienced this since my anti-anxiety medication a few years ago. Whatever, just a random thought.

I am supposed to get some bloodwork done but I keep forgetting to go. My doctor asked me if diabetes runs in my family and I was like… “bruh, I’m half first nations” and he was like “yuh, let’s check in on that.” Maybe I will go get that done tomorrow.

Anyways, I just had my creatine and I’m not experiencing a sugar hangover today so I am going to do legs and arms today. I believe bread is the only thing that I consume that has added sugar. “No Added Sugar” is my favourite thing to see on a label. Whenever I buy something that is premade for me I always check to see if it has sugar as a preservative or not. Usually, it does but that’s usually just for condiments and junk food. It has many many names on a label though. I made sugar an arch nemesis years ago because I’m dat bitch. I want to burn myself out and then read some of the Bhagavad Gita today. I’m aiming to send some resumes out online tonight.
ta

Last updated June 11, 2019