Unconventional Entry in Journal

I wanted to write about a particular topic today but my mind is sort of all… fuzzy.
I slept in today and it’s really nice out. It’s hot, which I don’t consider particularly nice, but there isn’t a single cloud that I can see.
Took the beef in yesterday- 2 Holstein steers from last year. They went in almost a full month early because the idiots kept busting out of my fence. They’ll be maybe a hundred lbs or so less than ideal, but that’s only a few hundred bucks in profit (yield isn’t 100%). Having the soundness of mind that my stupid cows aren’t getting out in the road is worth it.

On that topic, I’ve pondered lately about the unconventional tract of my life.
I don’t suppose I’ve ever done anything solely because someone else was doing it… but I’ve sort of taken it to an extreme level. I’m so outside the box that there are very few people who can (or are perhaps willing) to try to relate to me.
I find myself again and again going back to basic principles when speaking to strangers. When there are too many choices; it’s difficult for the brain to choose one. We’re best off with only 7 to 10 choices to choose from. There is an easy, linear decision making paradigm. But when we have 200 choices… things get hairy. And so I back away, try to find more common ground… try to find a place where we can both stand.

Except most people don’t stand on principle. At least not principles that they’re aware of. Usually it’s something that their parents programmed for them; an unconscious roadmap matrix. But if you’re really careful you can actually tease out what their principles might be if they actually cared to think about it for a moment.

In a way this has been really good for me… because it keeps people away from me (or at least makes them glaringly obvious) who don’t hold any shared values, or even who haven’t examined their values.

It has also been incredibly isolating.

Perhaps I am too harsh in my approach… in my feeling toward others. Yet I constantly go back to my own principles and ask; would I rather have the hard truth? or would I want niceness? And it is never the latter.

And the weird thing is, I really like talking to strangers. More than with the people I know. Perhaps because I have already asked the people I know what their stance is, and it isn’t what I had hoped. But I think more than that, talking to strangers is like a chance to try again. It’s an opportunity to be better, to do it better.