Like I Always Say... in meh...

…other people have issues and I get sucked into them.

My three biggest children are my baby brother, my niece and my daughter.

I texted my baby brother and asked him if he was using again? Just between us. I told him that because he said he couldn’t take a dump, that’s what clued me in.
He got back to me today and said he’d call me later. He could be mad, I don’t care, but we are going to talk about this.

My niece and my sister’s mother stay into issues. She texted me yesterday asking me if I could watch her children overnight while she worked because she’s been put out, yet again. I’m sure the biggest issue is that the kids are unruly. My niece and my daughter are like 2 peas in a fucked up pod. Anyway. She texted me this morning and said that the shift changed and while it would still be overnights, she’d be working 12hrs which means 7 to 7 which means I’m saddled with someone else’s children all of my evening and overnight. I don’t like it when my favorite grandbaby spends the night because I can’t sleep. My sleep is broken with every move they make. Not to mention the last time I kept them, the little boy cried for 2 hours straight. I was holding him and rocking him and feeling like I was bad with kids when I know I am excellent with kids. And he was heavy and his head is huge so my arms were sore. She was saying then he would be fine, or that he needed this and that, and he’d be fine. That little boy cried for 2 hours and then some. I got him to sleep, tried to put him down and his tail woke up and cried some more. His big sister was peeing on everything. I am of the mind that if you got all this mouth, screaming, back talking, etc., then you can tell someone when you need to pee instead of being hard headed.

So after this change, I told her I would have to get back in touch about that. It’s not that I don’t want to help, but you trying to hem me up. I like to get up and go on whims if I want to and I’m not doing that if I got to be home because I’m watching babies as soon as I get home from work. I’m not trying to take care of a whole lot, but me. AND I have a bleeding heart, but my eye is not so blind to the fact that she is just like my daughter. Sadly, I’m looking at this situation the way I look at things with my daughter. Like 1) why do you always get jobs that have you sleep all day and away from your kids, looking to other people to keep them? But also to, CNA, home healthcare work, all that stuff, I wouldn’t work that kind of a job if I had little kids. Maybe later down the line when they are self sufficient. But these are the formative years. I wouldn’t want to leave that to someone else to do. That’s just me and how I’ve always been. If I could have been a stay at home mother I would have. I wanted to be a “Soccer Mom”, complete with minivan and home schooling for my kids.

I just can’t keep letting people suck me into their mess. I’m sorry it’s like that. She doesn’t live close, doesn’t work close, and I can guarantee something will happen that this won’t work inCLUDING great nephew crying his head off again. I know kids cry, but with the current on going battle with my neighbor this would not bode well. I told her if I were to keep them we would have to ease into it because I don’t see them like that and I’m not about just putting kids off on anyone because it’s convenient. And while I am not just anyone, this boy don’t know me. My great niece is a character like her mother. Put her in anywhere and she is fine, but she does tend to go overboard doing stuff and gets into trouble.

I don’t know.

I need to say no…and my “but” is that I want to help, yet is this the way to do it or is it another set up for being taken advantage of?

::sighs::

Cheers, guys…

Kindest regards,
Sister