Sideshow Bob Rake Sound in Book Six: Trying to Hold On 2019

After an incredibly busy day of work on Monday (seriously, I was in court from 8:30 a.m. to like 3:30 and then a full hour of paperwork!) I left work and went to Caseys.

My car was THIRSTY! And fuel is expensive. Basically spent $50.00 on gas! Then, knowing Nala had Dog Training at 7 in C.F. I figured I should get some snack food to tide me over for the evening. After all, I ate breakfast but missed lunch and dinner wouldn’t exactly be easy. Then I went home.

When I got home Wife was just coming home from a walk with the dog. A good idea! Get the dog a little exercise and she might be a bit more focused at training. Now… I arrived home shortly after 5:00. Training starts at 7:00. It takes approximately 1 hour to drive to Training. Therefore, we should leave NO LATER THAN 6. After Wife, the dog, and I enter the house… Wife starts playing a Cell Phone game. At about 5:35, she asks me what we were going to do for supper. I made sure that she remembered that we had dog training and… yeah, she knew. But what? Were we just going to SKIP dinner? I told her that I had grabbed some snack food for the drive for just that reason. Her exact words? “No offense, but that is why you are still fat.” Okay. Thanks. Wife’s plan? Grab drive-thru on the way. To which I said that if we were going to do that, then we would need to be on the road by 5:45. She kept playing her cell phone game.

SO… we don’t leave our home until 6:02. And the first ten minutes of the drive? Wife would day, “Dammit!” every few seconds remembering something else.
Dammit, I wanted to get food.
Dammit, I forgot to bring my phone.
Dammit, I forgot to get my ADHD/Anxiety pills today.
Dammit, I wish I hadn’t forgotten my phone, I wanted to listen to podcasts.
And so on.

We DID get to Training on time. It was… challenging. Nala is SUPER stubborn and knows who to play how. Like the trainer was good… Nala just laid down. Like when the trainer would want to train her on something, Nala was like a toddler fighting bath time and would just put all her weight into her body and lie down in protest. For me? It was movement. Like I could get her to do 90% of what I wanted but when it came to that last 10%, she’d move and not complete the exercise properly. Like a child saying, “see Daddy, I can do it, I just don’t want to.” With Wife? Oh, Nala had her number hardcore. It was a combination move! She’d put all her weight into her body, not budge, and start vocalizing… like whining, crying, whimpering… trying to play the “No, Mamma please” kind of thing. Training this dog is going to take a lot!

At the end, turns out the trainer kept us for an extra 30 minutes working with us because Nala has such a stubborn streak. Of course, foolish me I tried to engage my wife in conversation on the drive back. I asked her about training? Her response: You were sweating. Uhm, okay. I asked her if she had her individual therapist scheduled this week? “No.” Oookay. Any chiropractor visits coming up? “Am I still going? Yes. But nothing this week.” Okay. “Don’t forget to pick up your pills tomorrow.” Wrong thing to say. “Of course I have to pick up my pills!! I run out tomorrow! I have to pick up my pills tomorrow!!!” I take the opportunity to push back a little saying, “I was just trying to be a husband, not start a fight!” Cue silent drive back home.

When we arrived home, Wife got some food in her and sat and watched the TV. This made her less argumentative, sure, but there wasn’t conversation or anything either. Though, after watching Monday’s Jeopardy Episode, she was downright giddy! As it was 10:30 (and I have to work every day) I got off the couch, kissed her cheek and said, “Good night.” Her reply was, “So wait, I have to do the whole Go Outside Training Thing by myself tonight?” I didn’t even stop my progress towards the bedroom as I said, “Wife, you’ll need to get used to doing training practice solo. You’ll need to work with her a lot during the day when I’m at work.”

When I woke up this morning, I put food and water in Nala’s dish and then tried to do the Go Outside Training. She was… resistant. But I was persistent. She (as expected) hates the training portions that require her to WAIT (as she wants to do things on HER time). So that is a challenge. Plus, her Oppositional Behavior somehow triggers the PLAYTIME part of her brain so after she went outside… she ran and ran and ran and ran before finally peeing and pooping. Then trying to do the Door Training with her again… she didn’t want to do the Auto Sit or come in at all. So I had the door open, came inside, told her I had to go to work, and gave her the Release Command… and she came inside. SO… she’s understanding things… but definitely trying to see if we really mean it or not. Manipulative little dog, lol.

Y’all write like the dickens. I have 5 pages of bookmarks to catch up on so again… sorry if I don’t note, but I am reading!! Today is arguably an acceptable work day. 3 hearings this morning but only the one in the afternoon needs to happen. Then I should start prepping for next week since I have to develop a “Sub Packet” since I’ll be at a Week Long Prosecutor’s Conference and my boss will have to take all of my hearings.

Scheduling in courts and hearings can sometimes be complicated. You see, I had something listed for trial today. It is obviously not going to trial today. We already told the judge that it would be resolved through plea. But the plea hasn’t been filed. And a plea hearing hasn’t been scheduled. So… I go over to the court at 9 to make sure the judge knows that we won’t be having trial… but then that means I get to sit there for most of the morning needlessly. As my next scheduled hearing is 10:30… and is likely not happening. Then after that, my next scheduled hearing is 11:30.... and is likely not happening. The only hearing that I know for sure is happening is scheduled at 2:00. So, in these situations… I’m left asking myself… do I stay at court all morning on the off chance that something needs to happen? Or do I stay in my office accepting that nothing should happen; but risking a judge calling me to ask why I’m not over there?

Complicating matters, I think I got my mom’s cold. My throat hurts and I’m feeling a bit weak. :( Though in these circumstances, I always wonder about the relationship between heat and my body. Growing up, I was a very sickly child. I mean, it makes sense objectively. If your body is trying to cope with constant pain all the time, that when a foreign illness attacks the body… the immune system crumples like a soda can under a MAC Truck. So every year, I would have weeks of high fever. Complicating matters, my body is very odd about temperature. I am the true Scorpious if you’ve seen Farscape. If not… Todoroki Shoto from Boku no Hero Academia but not as cool. I prefer the cold because heat is bad… I get sweaty and uncomfortable and there’s really only SO MUCH NAKED that I can get. However the cold is very bad for my pain as cold tends to stiffen my already stiff and over-stressed body. My pain prefers the heat because then my body can somewhat relax and the pain isn’t as focused; but then, of course, I get sweaty and uncomfortable especially when I’m in a suit!! Now… add all of that to the fact that the Courthouse and my Office lack Air Conditioning due to construction… and, of course, understand that I am in a long sleeved shirt under a suit jacket and tie… and yeah.... lots of heat issues. SO, that brings us around to the question at hand: Do I feel sick because I’m hot and my body equates high temperature with illness; or do I feel more susceptible to the high temperature because I am, in fact, sick? Honestly, the answer doesn’t matter either way. It’s me. I push on through, get as much accomplished as possible, and I’ll rest whenever I can. And the only person that ever has a problem with it is Wife but even there it is funny.

Story time! :p lol
Once upon a time, a few months before I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, I was dating Thompson. Thompson, her best friend JYo, JYo’s boyfriend, and our mutual friend Stiffler (his actual last name!) all went on a camping trip. There was hiking, and horseshoes, and all sorts of physical activities. Well, on the second day in the afternoon… I was absolutely wiped out. Stiffler and JYo’s boyfriend, however, were “upset that they were going to miss out on training” before they remembered that they had packed free weights in order to weight lift while camping! Uhm, fuck that! So while they lifted weights and the girls watched; I took a bloody nap! About an hour in, Thompson woke me up to complain to me that it wasn’t cool that I was asleep while everyone was hanging out together. I asked if the boys were still lifting weights and she said, “Yes, and you should join them. C’mon, don’t be so lazy.” I smiled, patted her arm, and went the fuck back to sleep.

When I told my Wife this story, she was offended for me. The idea that a girlfriend would wake me up because I was sleeping instead of lifting weights seemed ridiculous and offensive. I have a feeling she might reconsider these days, simply out of a perspective shift. These days, for example, let’s say that I went home from work and went to bed at 7 or 8. Wife would make a remark that I was “becoming (my) father” and complain that I wasn’t spending time with her. She, like Thompson, would not be curious or compassionate to WHY the sleep… they would simply be annoyed to be with someone who slept so much or at inconvenient times. Just my thought.

I suppose I wrote the sleep part for a few reasons.
(1) On Sunday, I woke up at The Usual Time. Fed/watered the dog. Went downstairs to play video games for a bit. Played video games and “worked out some tension” while also confirming some plans in Kona for the Hawaii trip; then fell asleep. I was tired, I decided to nap. It was a Sunday and it was before noon. When I woke up and went upstairs, Wife was “surprised to see me” anticipating that I’d be “down stairs playing video games for the entire day.” le sigh. Plus last night’s objection to working with the dog as I was on my way to bed. Plus the fact that I still have 7 hours of work left and working out… and I’m really tired right now.

Forty Five Minutes after writing the last bit and my entire body is cramped up. Which still doesn’t answer “sick or not?” Because when I’m sick… my body gets sore. When I’m not sick, but I am tired… my body typically gets sore. So the heat… creating a more tired me… is making me stiff and sore.

If I were to write a fantasy about what I want right now? I would want a comforting presence that is also an attractive woman to enter my office, shut my door, come around to the back of my chair and put her arms around me, giving me a great big hug from behind where her arms are around me in front of me and her chest is pressing into my back. After that, I’d want her to give me a deep shoulder and neck massage melting the knots and the stiffness and the pain. Then she’s put a pillow on the couch in my office, let me lay down, kiss me gently on the cheek or lips and let me sleep as she managed to deflect phone calls and/or answer people’s questions.

That would be my fantasy right now. Instead my reality? Sit in my office, tired and in pain, until 11 at which point I return to court to do a plea hearing for someone who violated the Sex Offender Registry. After that, return to my office and review files until 2:00; at which point I return to the courthouse to do a Bond Review hearing for someone who refused to stay in touch with his lawyer over charges of Indecent Contact with a Minor x 2. After dealing with those Child Sex Cases, I burn the last two hours of the day before returning home to hear about how difficult it was to train Nala (if any practice/training was done at all today) before packing Wife into the car and going to exercise until Wife is done. Then returning home, working with the dog, eating dinner, watching TV, then going back to bed to do it all again with slight variations the next day.

For the last many years, we’ve wanted a break. Wife got her break from Wal Mart and freaked the fuck out. That break has extended as she has not had a job since October 2018. I wanted a break from awful job experiences; and this job is certainly that break in most respects. We’ll finally have a bloody vacation here in July and that will be a nice break. But I suppose… there’s just that life-affirming, soul rejuvenating kind of break… the one that recharges your batteries inside and out.... that is the kind of break I really need right now. Something that reaches into the heart, body, and soul.

Horrifically, this is the kind of thought that leads me to think… what I could really use is a complete vacation from reality. Take an extended month long vacation from my job, my life, my marriage… appear in a different state or different country as someone entirely different and just… live free for a few weeks. There are a hundred dozen reasons why that would never work out, of course. But… the thought occurs.
More proof that the politicians aren’t fighting for their CONSTITUENTS but are strictly fighting for their own power and wealth
One of the many reasons why I refuse to watch Live Action Remakes of Disney Classic Animated Films.
One of the reasons I routinely object to the Corn Lobby’s attempts to discredit me for fighting against High Fructose Corn Syrup Subsidies. In Iowa, doing or saying anything that might make Corn less profitable is treasonous. So when I suggested that Corn doesn’t need to be THE product in every food and that, perhaps, healthier alternatives could be used without sacrificing taste or driving costs up… the farmers in Iowa were NOT happy to hear that opinion.
This shouldn’t come as a shock to people, but it often does. If you’re following someone who calls themselves “an influencer” or you’re taking health advice from an Instagram Poster who’s mostly “famous for being famous” then you aren’t going to let a little thing like diarrhea get in the way of trusting someone who is obviously being paid for their endorsement.
This doesn’t surprise me at all; but still goes to what has always been true. New Technology Happens. Older Generation gets addicted, obsessed, struggles to understand it or integrate it in a healthy manner. Older Generation demonizes it and, thus, the younger generation that are dealing with the new tech fairly well.
We read this case in Law School and cases that are very similar. It comes from an interesting set of facts. The homeowners had originally held their home out to be haunted and had tried to make it an attraction. They lost money and had to sell; but their original sales pitch was “Come buy this Haunted House!” When nobody bought; they refused to disclose the previous “Haunted House” information to an interested buyer who bought the house without that knowledge. When the buyer was informed later (by every neighbor and everyone in the town) that the house had long been held out to be haunted; the buyer demanded their purchase price back and to rid themselves of the house. The Supreme Court said that the house “being haunted” whether it was or not had been a Material Disclosure because it had become common knowledge and something that, previously, the sellers had relied on in an attempt to sell the house. In short: you can’t change your marketing strategy to cover a potential DEAL BREAKER especially after said Deal Breaker had previously been your entire marketing strategy.

Back over to court.

Which… goes as expected. Defense Counsel is a good dude, I like him, but his client is a Mentally Ill Witch. I would call it a true place for compassion BUT FOR everything surrounding it. You see, we have this attractive young woman. She has significant mental health problems. Instead of taking her medication, she married the County’s Drug Dealer’s Son. So mental health plus meth. They got divorced because she was too crazy even for Drug Dealer’s Son. Which sends her really over the edge. But again… instead of seeking Mental Health Assistance or taking medication… she goes to Drug Dealer’s Competitor. Helps him build up his clientele based on taking unsatisfied customers from her ex-Father In Law. Problem is, Competitor is REALLY all about this girl. He’s 20 years her senior and is just… enamored of the fact that a “hot young thing” would want to be with him. So she gets the lion’s share of the Meth Product and doesn’t have to pay (but for sex). However, whenever things aren’t going well with him or he tries to get her to take Mental Health Medication supplemental to the Meth… she goes to the neighbor dude to fuck him to make Competitor feel bad until he takes her back. So we’ve got (1) Massive Mental Health issue; plus (2) Destroyed/Destroying her brain with Meth; plus (3) Manipulative and Attractive. So, in a Court environment… she does NOT do well. Because she isn’t in control. She doesn’t get to say and do whatever she wants. She’s expected to follow the Court’s rules, decorum, etcetera. So… yeah. Court went as expected… Defense Counsel is a good dude… but his client is a Witch. NOTE: Before I get an earful of how “witch” is a legitimate religious descriptor and use of the term is as bad as a Jewish Slur, the current primary dictionary definitions for the term witch imply “evil, ugly, or unpleasant”. I’m sure I could have used a different word besides witch but… her issues (use of potions, manipulation of men) just… historically fit Witch.

But… UGH and UFDA. Court Room and Office are making me just sweat like crazy. I texted Wife to see if we could do a DQ Run with Nala tonight… that’s a nice long walk with the dog where in the middle we get a really tiny Dairy Queen Treat. She hasn’t responded yet () but I assume she’ll say no. SO, I’ll get something on the way home. Which may get her upset anyway but frankly… she gets to sit in air conditioning watching TV… I have to work in a suit in a courtroom and office without AC. If she wants to scream, “But Dairy Queen will keep you fat” then I’ll accept that. I’m hot as hell, woman!

One last thing I’ll say about the heat? Some of that is obviously on me for having shaggy hair and facial hair. To that end, I will be getting a dramatic shave and a hair cut on July 1 before Hawaii. It’s going to be… weird. I haven’t NOT had facial hair now since working for the Chinese so… exposing my face to the world will be odd. I admit that typically, I prefer the facial hair look. But pragmatically? It is going to stay HOT in the office and courthouse without AC and it is going to be HOT in Hawaii… so… better comfortable than attractive?

This is awesome! :)
Yes, I like her appearance.
This is amazing and I applaud the creator!
See this is actually kind of cute. Inappropriate, sure, but cute. And of course… since this is about couple’s engaging in normal, healthy, even playful and flirtatious sexually based communication… I must acknowledge at least a small feeling of sadness in my heart. I’m not super sex focused as I would really like to get my marriage EMOTIONALLY sorted but as a general concern and statement? If my HEART can’t be held gently; I’d least like my knob fondled, lol.
This is 100% accurate to every experience I’ve seen, had, discussed, or observed. And it is NO SECRET WHY! This is a proof of toxic masculine culture for me. Because a man is “supposed to hit it and quit it” so when he’s no longer “tied down” his “bros” celebrate his “release into the wild.” But when he’s hurting, really honestly deep down, too many DON’T have the friends to speak with genuinely… so they turn to substances and destructive behaviors. Meanwhile, most (not all) women with healthy social lives are surrounded by friends at first and they process the hurt and the feelings so that a woman can be more healthy after a while. NOTE: Break ups hurt and man or woman, if you’re still feeling the pain it does not mean you are any LESS or MORE of a man or woman. You feel the pain as long as you need to, but make sure you’re processing that pain and not just sitting on it letting it fester.
NOT sharing because of “oh look, sexy” sharing because I have a question and I am looking for information. Do any of the women here actually do this? Bikini Fishing? I mean… none of the women I know do this so I’m curious. Because all of the fishing I’ve done and the women I know have done have been in places like Canada where… yeah, it can get hot… but you don’t wear your bikini. Especially because you may be out on the boat all day… rain, sun, dirt, all of that. It just… is this a “Southern States/Hotter Climates” kind of fishing or what?
Call me whatever names you want; I did want to share this because she’s attractive and because so rarely do I ever highlight beauty in black people. And there are beautiful black people. But it is pretty apparent that Iowa isn’t great with diversity. I grew up in an almost exclusively White/Asian area. Lots of white people… lots of families that fled Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos, Korea… that was what I grew up with. In High School, we started getting more Hispanic students and Chinese and a few black students. But the black students were mean to me. I don’t even blame them. They were a small percentage of the population and The Theater Kid Who’s Probably Gay was a good target to make them feel… better, I guess?
Always love a good reference to the Fuck It Bucket
I have NO IDEA what is going on in this photo… and yet I have a very strong feeling that I would approve and want to participate
I know it will be impossible to get wife to go to Florida… I know it will be expensive as all hell, but I REALLY want to go to the Star Wars Portion of Disney World some day!!!
This actually has a cool story. This is Cosplay Model Ryuu Lavitz who often does sexy but quality shoots. This is InuYasha (one of the first Anime I ever got into after Aku killed my interest). This isn’t just “Oh, look, a sexy crossplay.” I mean it is, but it is more. Because this is her outfit that she wore at a convention that is held AT a waterpark. So a swimsuit Cosplay becomes not just “ooo, sexy” but a genuine part of the convention as it is held where swimsuits would be the expected attire (especially if you want to ride any of the attractions which, sans sword, I’m sure she could).
My wife and many others would likely say “She’s too skinny” but I appreciate this look for a number of reasons. Not least of which is that it seems RARE to find anything NOT bikini related on Chive! And frankly… as “hot” as the bikini can be… I’m me, man. I would much rather see a fully dressed woman and think, “Wow” as opposed to a woman who is mostly naked! Also… not sure if this matters or not… but today there was a mostly not dressed 20 something and a fully dressed 56 year old… and I honestly found the 56 year old far more attractive.
This is an interesting “in between”. Largely because… would you consider what she’s wearing to be lingerie? I honestly don’t know anymore in this world if that would be considered lingerie or an actual dress. If it is lingerie, it reminds me of a discussion my wife and I used to have. She sees no point in “dressing sexy, lingerie, or anything that would appeal to the sexual desires of her man because” in her words “why put effort into something for the sole purpose of having it removed?” I do see her point. I get it. She’s essentially saying, “If I’m in an outfit whose purpose is to make someone want to see me naked, and I’m comfortable being naked with that person, why wouldn’t I just be naked?” I understand that perspective. But it is also why we have different tastes in music and art. I am 100% okay with a slow burn plot with interesting characters. I care mostly about the story, but if it takes time to develop… so much the better. And in this we can use seduction like a story. Seduction doesn’t start the moment someone gets naked. Seduction is the process. It is the outfits chosen for the date, it is the flirting at dinner, it is the physical contact walking back to the car, it is the removal of each other’s clothing, it is the making out, it is everything leading up to actual penetration. THAT is seduction. And I think Wife just… doesn’t see the point. I mean, technically… she doesn’t seem to see the point in any of it… seduction, passion, sexual congress, any of it… but I’m not ridiculously old fashioned for thinking about seduction and the whole process of revving someone else’s engine, am I?
The Little Mermaid missed a great opportunity. Ariel shouldn’t have a nondescript “tropical fish” named Flounder; she should have a seal named Rover… or something that REALLY announced “Mermaids have their own culture and world and everything in it is pretty normal.” lol
While I have never had this problem; I have had to look at a person’s e-mail to spell their name properly. Because why wouldn’t you want to get that detail right?
Considering the temperature in my office and the court room… I want this. I want this inside me.
Okay, this is terrible AND funny

Isn’t this almost always true?
The perfect lighting arrangement. I mean… how long do you think it took before they noticed?
Never be afraid to drink what you want. Unless … well… okay. Drink responsibly, don’t drink if it leads to problems, and apparently I can’t drink around my Wife anymore because she doesn’t like how “belligerent” I get which translates to, she doesn’t like that the anger I’ve been biting back for 7 years comes to the surface. But OTHER THAN THAT… if you want to order a cocktail order a cocktail.
I hope Nala always loves us. I know training is going to be rough… I’m sure she liked doing whatever she wanted… but there is also a lot more to it. I know she wants to be mentally stimulated. I know she wants to figure things out and have more freedoms. But like any child… she doesn’t connect the long term benefits to the present day work. Hopefully, we can just get her good and trained so that we can enjoy more and more adventures. This picture is obviously not Nala. I should take more pictures of her.

And now… Chive is trying to… I don’t know? I guess promote one of their members? Samantha from San Antonio, TX. Follow Samantha on iChive: @poopsie59 Typically, I say that the images on Chive don’t immediately physically affect me. Like… I typically think “Attractive” but it isn’t like my manhood moves or anything… just… an artistic assessment. Perhaps because these are GIFS, that was not the case here. Definite.... uh… appreciation. Of course… predictably… I’m terrible at guessing an age here. Seriously. Like… proper shitty at it. Right now, honestly, this woman to me could be anywhere from 22 to 43. Any ideas?

FUN EXERCISE… seriously, I’m curious. What would you re-name it? I’m torn at the moment. I think I’d either rename it “Dream Deferred” or “Hope’s Wake”