Not Whining, Just Saying in meh...

I probably shouldn’t even talk about it. Somehow, I think when I write about things, I am getting them off my chest and I can get it off my chest.

So, as much as I try to gas myself up, I still have image issues. I don’t know how to love myself and embrace who I am. If I did I wouldn’t know how that feels.

Its stupud stuff too. Like, growing up, all I ever heard was I had ugly, Donkey Kong toes. It’s taken me years to say eff what anyone thinks, put polish on my toes and sport sandals. My friends have all these cute little toes and I have what I have.

Or something as simple as I wish my fingers looked like one of my old bosses. Dumb part about that, whether I cut my nails really short or when I let my nails grow out, I have beautiful hands. But the nail beds on my index and middle finger on my right hand are crooked.

I have my days when I’m cute, when I think I’m cute. Then I get around other people and feel like everyone is watching me.

I don’t wear certain things because I don’t have a round but and because my stomach hangs over my c-section scar. Even when I lost a lot of weight, it was still hanging there. It’s like a 3rd arm pit that needs powder and deodorant.

At any rate.

My face. I look like my father. Actually works in my favor. I’m not ugly. Doesn’t stop me from thinking I am some days. My face scars from pimples whether I pop them or not. Pimples form in the same spots so it’s like I have dark spaced on both sides of my face. Its weird.

I keep seeing statements about how society pits women against each other. Women put women against each other. Men only seem to look at certain women. I’m just not one of them, I guess.
The ones that look at me think I’m going to take care of them. I’m tired of broken things, including me. I want to be taken care of. I want someone to hold me down for a change.

My son wants me to date because he wants a new dad “because old dad sucks.” LOL

::shrugs::
Just airing out.
Hope you all have a wonderful weekend.

Kindest regards,
Sister