Just Wish..... in Adventures of New baby and family

I just wish I knew what the outcome would be of all this.....
I wish that all these agencies would get together and decide on a plan instead of leaving it to one or the other that doesn’t know the whole story…
Mental health and illness is a bear in this country and not accepted at all and when someone needs help they find ways to not deal with them leaving people that they know to deal with them....
almost 60 days in jail now.... in a holding center.
I don’t know if they found him incompetent or not. I don’t know if he’s going to be going to mental health forensics or not. Nobody tells me anything. He has no friends, no family that will stand by him. Nothing......I can’t.
I guess my dream would be that he is put into one of those mental health homes to be monitored but I think that is temporary too and not a permanent solution. I don’t know what a permanent solution would be as far as housing goes with him. I know he’s not going to do it on his own and convincing him that he has too is not going to work.
The other would be monitoring him. AOT (assistive outpatient treatment) so that they know he’s doing what he’s suppose to be doing and taking his meds and going to treatment.

My problem is even though they exist that they aren’t going to do that with him. I know this, I lived this. I feel that I have to be sucked into this again. There’s no way out. There is no relief. They rather pawn it on you than deal with the problem. He’s not that bad is what I get… over and over and over again........

7 years ago he went off the hook..... got arrested 2 days in a row and was in jail.... they deemed him incompetent to stand trial and sent him to the nearest psych ward in another county. 3 days later they said he was “normal” and let him out. That last day we(his brother, father and myself) argued with them that he is unable to live on his own. The report from one of the psychiatrist stated as much I later read. They dropped him off at a sleazy hotel and paid for a night and after that he was on his own. I had an order of protection against him at the time too. Got into drugs and really have no idea how he got back to the county he was in before, he had no car. He mostly hung out at the bottom of my street and slept in peoples yards nearby. I could see him and see he wasn’t doing well. I took him to the psych ward again… he stayed a week. Again he was sent to another sleazy hotel this time in the middle of nowhere. Not able to fill his prescription and had no way to go to appointments. Again he ended up bottom of my street fucked up on drugs and again took him back to the psych ward again another week there.... This time a week at a rooming house. And then what??? do I sound like a broken record??? Last time 3 weeks in the psych ward.
After that the judge and mental health made it pretty damn clear that I had to take him back…they really didn’t give me a choice they all made it clear that they weren’t going to do anything. I asked about AOT then… nope not “bad” enough.

So here we are 7 years later already doubled that jail stay by a lot. Court date coming up. really don’t want to go down this road again. The circumstances maybe more or less depending(last time it was threatening a neighbor and council member)… this time he went off on the judge. There was no hearsay.... yes I did file charges and all that but its his word against yours even in mental health cases. So that’s why the long lock up.... I’m hoping for a follow through. I’m wishing for a follow through.... but am all too aware of when he gets the mental help its going to be the same as last time.... 3 days done and a nightmare to follow. No follow up, he’s on his own.

This is a different town, different county than last time. This is the big league now. We aren’t talking a tiny city but a big metropolitan area. Tiny city is nice as everybody knows everybody and they are a little too nice in stuff like that but big city.... they mean business they don’t have time for this nonsense.

Maybe I will get what I’ m looking for this time. But then there’s reality and that after 7 years I’m still dealing with this with no relief insight. Nobody gives me information is one. I have called the DA and they told me nothing its a wait and see thing. I called the DV places.... still waiting back for their calls. Not that they can do anything anyway. Tenants have more rights than landlords in this state.

I just feel stuck.....
I just wish there was follow through. I just wish that I didn’t have to hope an pray that things will get done or told “he’s not that bad” because I feel I don’t get to have a choice as to my life. That they will all put this burden on me again.

They can and they will they don’t care what other agencies say.....

And that is where I’m at..... the rock and the hard place.

Anyway.... this purgatory I’m living in is fine with me. I know where he is and know he’s being sort of taking care of…wish I knew how long it will last.