Dilly-dally in Current Events

I overheard my name while my sister was FaceTiming her husband last night. He asked her if I got a job yet. I don’t know why that stressed me out. Probably because it should stress me out!? I got a little comfortable being unemployed, I’m not going to lie about it. Tomorrow will be the one month anniversary of my termination.

On mother’s day, somebody had committed arson and tried to burn down a restaurant near the location that I worked at. I just learned yesterday that Karamjeet has been telling everybody that I did it. Probably in a joking manner but she even asked my grandmother, who stills goes to her location for coffee, if she knew why I did it. I can’t even stomach the thought of that woman talking to my grandmother. *Like, how about I go ask your husband if he is aware that you’re not even sure that your daughter is his? * I am trying so hard to forget about that place and that evil, vile excuse for a woman or human being Karamjeet. I am trying to get myself balanced over here.

I ended up going for a long run after I heard that gossip. I don’t even measure how long or how far I go. I just disappear when I’m on these dirt roads and crop fields. I’m so country. Somebody’s dog ran out of their yard to join me for a bit. It was a cute and scary moment. Then some young guy almost hit me with a tiny motorbike that he was riding. Now listen, I have no sex life to speak of so I am a little embarrassed that I was smitten when he waved at me. He was fit, he was the only white guy in my city that isn’t pasty from the long winter and he was only wearing basketball shorts and because he was way too tall for that pocket rocket his legs were pretty open and as we know, leg are my weakness. I need Jesus, Krishna and Guru Nanak to forgive me for that brief moment of infatuation. Tom shalt not think about twinks. He ain’t got time for dat.

Yesterday was Victoria day so nobody had school and most businesses were closed. We actually had summer weather (18c for us is a lot of heat) and so everybody was outside in summer clothes for the first time this year. Bev and I went down to the Forks Market for a walk. They renovated more of it since I was last there and it looks absolutely stunning in there. I can’t wait until I find work downtown so I can spend even more time there. The Taste of Sri Lanka is the only restaurant in that whole food court that I eat at and they informed me that they turned all their vegetarian dishes vegan. “Because we are friends to vegans” she explained to me. Their menu opened up to me and that made my whole day. Even though they did not have any sambar ready for the dosa that I wanted I was still happy that I had more of their menu to explore.

Anyways, back to the employment status. It’s 23c today and after my daily run and a leg workout, I sat outside and finished that book my mother lent me. The one about job loss etc. I should have finished it sooner, the very next chapter literally addressed everything that I am afraid of about starting a new job. Now I feel that I got the tools that I need to push myself through that. I grabbed an old notebook that I found to start writing down a detailed action plan for 2019 and I found an old list of things that I wanted to accomplish back in 2015. There are 14 things on that list and I had managed to accomplish 9 of them since then. One of which was to quit smoking. Three February’s ago I quit smoking and actually, this week is my three year anniversary of quitting carnism. I silently started transitioning into Veganism around this time three years ago after I clicked on a YouTube video titled “Kyle OSullivan Amazing Vegan rap”. I was like, omg what does this idiot have to say? Well… There was my life before that 3:36 clip and then my life after that 3:36 clip.

I can’t even stay on track here and stick to talking about my employment journey. I can’t even keep my mind on it either. I’m not hopeless, I know that once I get started I’ll be all in. That is what I am overwhelmed about. That shift in my mind is what I need to get over my last job though. You know, I bet this is what relationships are for. I would have somebody here in my corner to help push me along and to support me and hold my hand when I start to get scared. To hold me and tell me that everything is going to be okay when I start to fall apart… ok I am starting to sound pathetic. I got to man up and start taking care of things. As I do. My vacation is over… after today lol. I can’t stop thinking about all the eye candy that I saw yesterday either. K, has anyone heard of the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows? Me neither but it contains a list of human emotions that we do not have the words for. One of which is called a Hanker Sore. That is is the emotion generated by some individuals that experience a level of anger towards attractive people. That is exactly what I experience when I see a hot guy online or in person. What I experience before I feel an attraction anyway. So yes, the moral of the story is that I am a big fat procrastinator that makes a lot of excuses for himself because making changes sucks balalalalls.