A Lot on My Mind in Adventures of New baby and family

So yesterday was the day from hell. I put Alex on the bus and within an hour they called me to pick him up as he had pink eye… Sigh.. He’s had sinus issues for almost 2 months now nonstop and every time he comes off the antibiotic his sinuses are so bad he has gunk oozing from his eyes. Daily I spray stuff up his nose to get the boogers out. So they put him only on eye drops this time as we exhausted what the pediatrician wanted to do as far as antibiotics and just gave him eye drops. So we are going to the ENT tomorrow to hopefully get some answers or a better treatment plan.

After that I went to my GYN apt and I wasn’t really looking forward to as much as I usually do and this time I had Alex en tow. I went for an ultrasound last week to see why I was having pelvic pain. I do love this doctor and I know he was joking with me last time calling me a bit crazy as I said I was still having what felt like ovarian cysts and telling me you can’t you are on depo. Well something is going on?? He humored me with an ultrasound and I went. Unlike last time I could tell something was off but didn’t know what of course they don’t tell you but they hint. So he comes in… Just want to say I got to see Wendy whom did all my ultrasounds and she got to see Alex. Very cool and of course the Dr. got to see Alex too. Well its not ovarian cysts he tells me. Great I think there’s nothing wrong and I’m having pain for the hell of it. But you have what is the equivalent to varicose veins in your ovaries and that’s whats doing it. See doc I’m not crazy. So I guess its a procedure and whatever… sounds like fun. NOT. Sort of relieved sort of not. But at least I have some answers actually its better that cysts because they always told me can’t really do anything about them…
He smiled and entertained Alex for a minute as Alex sat on my lap. He knows the hell it took to bring him into this world and nice to see how well he’s doing.

So I went home and Alex fell asleep and got him set up with the ENT. The other school calls and Jonathan needs to be picked up. He has been having allergy issues too and has been coughing a lot. Not in front of me but he was coughing a lot on the way to the doctors but not so much after. Even not today. Giving him an antihistamine daily now. On a side note..... he is my child that is allergic to pertussis vaccination and has not been vaccinated against that disease.....

So after all of this I have or want a quiet night at home.... CPS calls to do a home visit. Fine. Wants to close the case. Even better. They see the kids and leave after a few questions… Whats weird is that she doesn’t know what’s going on with their father?? I mean I ‘m happy she wants to close it and all but the person in question you don’t know what’s going on? I feel like I’m the criminal here. Like I did something wrong and he gets to waltz in and out of my life like this. No plan nothing. I know… he’s still in jail and I do have a temporary order of protection but then what?? She called me and DV advocate is suppose to talk to me about a safety plan.... Fine I will talk to them but its a waste of time. They don’t listen to me.. No one listens to me. I own my own home. its not his in any shape or form. Good they tell me. NO ITS NOT!! I can’t run away!! I can’t hide. I’m STUCK!!! He knows where I’m at all the times. He knows my schedule he knows I can’t lock the door all the time. That the kids go in and out and I have to do the normal daily routine and that makes me a sitting duck. Change he locks they tell me. What good will this do when his kids are waiting for the bus?? Or when they get home and want to play outside?? They should be allowed the freedom to NOT be forced to be prisoners in their own home. Nor I. He also lives here. Now that I have an order of protection he can’t come back but its not permanent…
He really can’t live on his own. He has never lived on his own. He has never paid rent/mortgage or anything like that. If they don’t get him “help” that is going to be another problem. Fucking Idiots.....
But that’s whole thing .... they have to give him help....
He’s not a bad guy when he’s medicated.
When he’s not, he’s HELL!!!!