Here We Go Again in I'm About To Have A Nervous Breakdown

So, I got very clingy and now the fwb says we should just go back to sending stupid and silly memes. No hanging.

It’s nagging me in my head and I keep beating myself up over it to the point I can’t sleep.

I’m super bummed and on some level feel like I got used.

Also, I only lasted two days at that job. I was given false information on what I was to be trained on and the machine I was put on was WAY over my head. I left work that day crying my damn eyes out because I felt SO stupid.

So yeah, in regards to my last entry, I need a break from reality.

However the AA meeting I went to tonight (yeah you read that right) was super insightful. Topic was about fear. I got onto the subject of my intense fear of abandonment and went into a bit of detail about what’s gone on the last few months. When it came time for the closing prayer (cringe) a lady came up to me wanting to hold my hand since she, too, suffers from BPD. Had a conversation with her afterwards about it and our actions towards people and how it screws things up IE: beginning of this entry.

Anyways, I’m just gonna float around on here till I have something interesting to say. Till then I’m only getting off the couch for food and the restroom.