13.5 seconds in Book Six: Trying to Hold On 2019

Not that I am surprised but … obviously I am very disappointed.

Today was our Mother’s Day celebration. Wife, Puppy. and I at Ames with Brother. Niece, SIL, Bro’s bff, my parents and SIL’s parents. Everything was fine… for the most part. Though I do find it interesting that Wife (lately) has been bitching about my alcohol intake and yet got herself entirely shit faced.

End of the Night: I could drive us home… but considering I drive everyday and Wife rarely leaves the house… it seems most equitable that Wife drives… yet, she (apparently) drank herself to sobbing! Seeing Mothers being appreciated for being mothers was… too much. Despite not caring about having a sex life at all… apparently the very act of seeing a 65, 64, and 38 year old woman being celebrated for being mothers is too much for her to bear. Instead of leaving and going home (as we should be doing) Wife is sitting in my brother’s entryway and loudly sobbing/wailing because she feels like a failure but doesn’t “know what to do about it”.

EVERYTIME WE VISIT MY FAMILY!!!!!

My family is not “super successful”. We’ve made do with what we were given. Mostly, we have dedicated ourselves to serving others. So, when Sekfish Wife spends time with us and drinks herself stupid… it isn’t “thank goodness I am part of such a loving family” it is instantly “Self criticism and bullshit.”

This is just like my abusive relationship! The whole idea that I should feel bad and do something just because my family is loving and understanding. WTF?!

My niece? Asleep. My SIL? Asleep. Brother? Tending the campfire. Bro’s bff? With him. Nala and I? Sitting on the patio. Wife? Still sobbing in the middle of my brother’s foyer.

I get that I should be worried and concerned but mostly I am annoyed.

No sex.
No support.
And Mother’s Day sends her into a drunken sobbing fit?

YES I GET IT. ALL OF YOU KEEP SAYING I SHOULD DIVORCE HER. I HEAR YOU. I AM NOT IGNORING YOU! And yet… those of you who keep saying that? You may understand the situation, but you don’t understand me. This is my WIFE! This isn’t some victim or SVU Case. This is my WIFE. THE ONE woman that said yes. It isn’t that simple.