disorderly conduct in poetry

some day in some future DSM
in the not-too-distant formulation
of what passes for our mental illnesses
we will have a new way of being sick inside
instead of a Dissociate Disorder
we will have Sociative Disorder
for those of us who can't compartmentalize
the varied pieces of our scattered lives
into separate discrete boxes

we will be considered broken
for not being able to deftly sift out
our work selves from our twitter selves
or from facebook or from message boards
for not being able to juggle truths and traits
so that you put up the right vision for each format
and never ever make mistakes
until these different yous
with different tolerances and different secrets told
different aspirations and levels of profanity
might as well be completely different people
living inside the same head

we'll be sick for not
being able to do that
effortlessly
we'll be ill

but I want to put it all out there
I want to swear in front of my grandparents
I want to rant about my displeasure with religion
in front of any and all potential future employers
I want to dissuade any potential voyeurs
by wearing whatever's left of my heart
right upon my sleeve
so they realize
there are no secrets to spy out
and they might as well leave
I don't want to
compartmentalize myself
for differing virtual social contexts
until I'm ten programs in one head
I'd rather be unemployable
I'd rather be dead
then cast to the wind
as fifteen different people
none of whom like each other very much

I would rather be transparent
but I'll have Sociative Disorder
and I guess I'll have to start a message board
about coping with being one person
I'll start thinking up
a good screenname for it
tomorrow