What do we say to the god of debt? Not today! in Current Events

I went an entire day without assaulting Prosebox with an entry. You’re welcome. I woke up yesterday in such a good mood. Somebody left a comment explaining to me how they have a moment of anxiety every Sunday because of the dread that they used to feel about going back to school every Monday, to teach. They no longer teach and they are doing something more fulfilling for them but that old habit seems to be dying hard. Just like mine, work was always my first thought of the day and I realized how it no longer needs to be. The dread I was feeling back then was unbearable. I grabbed my journal and wrote down all my fears and doubts. I wanted to start waking up with that New Year New Me energy that I get in January. That entire month I just have a fire in me. (New Year’s day, then my birthday and it is Capricorn season) I want that fire back.
My alarm went off at 5am yesterday and I got out of bed and then I woke up again on the couch 5 hours later lol. I wasn’t even mad about it. I just felt so rested and so charged. I didn’t let my broken toe stop me from the best workout that I’ve ever done. I tried to take progress pics but my self-esteem is just not there yet lol. Anyways I have a “side list” of things that I want to work on that pertain to me, myself and I that I started to work on. I still have my to-do list for getting my life together which I am also working on but now I also have a list of things for getting myself together which I feel is also important.
I feel like I need breakover. It’s been 3 years since I had a proper haircut and I feel that if I went and got myself a makeover I would feel refreshed and confident… but then again if I hate it like I always do, my confidence would be taking 3 steps back. I grew it out because I did not want to spend time and money on going back every month and needing to style and use products every day. Now here I am with long hair and I am using oils and expensive shampoos to maintain its health and gorgeous waves and curls. So I dunno. Below is a clip of a hairstyle that I have always tried to get done. The stylists always failed to produce it the way I wanted it. They botched a healthy trim and gave me a blunt cut in December. Took off 6 inches of hair! I lost complete faith in hairstylists.

I’m trying the whole nofap movement and I was not aware of how addicted I was to PMO (Porn, Masturbation, Orgasm). The model in this clip was such a trigger. I can’t tell if I am attracted to him or if I need to hate myself for not looking like him #gayproblems. Seriously though, I was not aware of negatively PMO was affecting me. It didn’t seem like it was such a big deal but I was like… if I have control over it then I can just stop. Turns out that I did not have the control that I thought I did. I quit smoking, I quit meat & dairy… this should be easy? The jury is still out on that one.
Anyways, once my hair is dry I am going to start running my errands and getting my life together. The casino was my first thought of the day and what do we say to the god of debt? Not today!!