Tue Two Too To sday in Book Six: Trying to Hold On 2019

Went to bed around 11:30. Woke up at 2:30 needing to pee. Dog woke up and got super excited that someone was awake. Would not settle down and go back to sleep until 4. I am super tired.

Being that tired, though, sometimes gives me a sense of fluidic logic. Perhaps this makes no sense and when I fully awaken, I’ll know that. But for now, this is what danced through my head this morning:

People believe forgiveness and grace are unimportant. God cannot exist because he is not needed… humans don’t need a stern school marm telling us we should have done our homework.

I counter by saying that many of us are happy, even eager to chose Hell when presented the option.

After the moment of your death, you see two doors ahead of you. A homeless looking man who identifies himself as Peter gets your attention and tells you what is going on. Behind each door is a possible afterlife. In one, there is no pain and no suffering… for anyone. You will see the people who hurt you most in life existing without pain, without suffering, living peacefully for all eternity. Behind the other door, there is pain and suffering. You will be personally allowed to torture the people who hurt you most in life, making their existence pain, suffering, living a hellscape of experiences wrought by your hand.

Many people would see those options as “Live with a monster knowing they never received justice” or “be a torture master exacting justice on the very person or people who most deserve my hate.” With those options… I’m thinking people would run joyfully to the “exacting justice” door. And that is where Grace and Forgiveness from a Higher Power become important.

Here’s the part people will likely argue about the most. In the above experience… everybody thinks “I’ll be okay! I led a perfectly kind life so being able to punish my hated enemy sounds like a great balance and system of justice!!” But when you enter the room? There’s someone there for you, too. Because no matter how amazingly wonderful and majestic and perfect and without accident you think your life was? There is someone out there who would jump at the chance to torture you. Some slight, whether real or imagined, some minor issue, whether significant or not, and there is someone out there that camp out over night to be first in line to torture you.

And that is why we need grace and forgiveness. Because if the first door truly has no pain and no suffering… why do you care if someone you hate will be there? The hate will be gone. Since the promise was no suffering… you would have no ill will and no built up hatred poisoning your heart. You would simply be two souls protected, loved, and safe. But we cling to our earthly sense of justice… and worse… we do so knowing that our system of justice is broken as hell and constantly not “exacting enough punishment” against those who wrong us.

Again… I’m bloody exhausted so perhaps the above portion makes no sense. Just something I was thinking about on the way to work.

Oh… Puppy News:

After my busy crazy late day at work yesterday, I called Wife to see how things were going with her and Nala. At that point? Good! Wife was raking the yard (the yard hadn’t been raked last year, and then the snow and the rain, so we’re raking our entire yard now). As she raked, the Puppy hung out with her and played in the leaves and played with the rake. I got home, Wife and I ate dinner, then she wanted to sit for a bit. The picture at the end of this entry is what happened there. We sat down together, Nala jumped up into our laps, spread out between us, and fell fast asleep.

Then when she woke up… she was willfull and ornery. Gnawing on all the furniture, biting a hole through her dog bed, trying to eat the carpet… very willful.

So… we have a cute, adorable, loving little bundle of furry adorbz… that can turn into a springy, fast moving, blurry ball of energy trying to destroy whatever she sees. Classic definition of a Puppy; but I’ll be happy when we can get her (1) out of her gnawing habit; (2) Potty trained; (3) and reacts to her name.

Last updated April 09, 2019