Wonderful in Current Events

I took a couple of days to get myself back on track. My mental health needs that structure. I finally went for that run I had been whining about. I quit alcohol, for now. I’m forcing myself to eat more and to eat smarter. I have been working out a lot more than usual. I am not keen at looking at myself in the mirror but I took a peek and I can see that I have actually been gaining some mass and that feels good. I got brave and looked at my face in the mirror yesterday too. I couldn’t even see my acne scars. I think my dermal roller is actually working some magic. Depends on the lighting situation of course. I found a PMD kit a Winners yesterday for $129 and gasped. The cheapest I could find those online is $529 so I didn’t even hesitate to purchase it.
I returned to work with some confidence yesterday and I was determined to have a good day. Work is my trigger after all. On Thursdays and Sundays, I don’t have to work with Karamjeet or Brad and that is always a good day. However, I was minding my own business and enjoying my shift when somebody randomly decided to tell me all the trash Karam and Brad had been talking about me the day before. I shrugged it off but yeah, it bothered me. Instant mood poisoning. I let Brad be disrespectful to me one time and now he thinks it is okay. I don’t know what to do anymore. I just do not want to work for him.
Since I am trying to not let work consume my whole mind I decided to check my budget book. Toni and I decided to start apartment hunting in a couple of weeks so I decided to see where I stood, financially. I hate doing this, it’s always so stressful and I am actually not doing so well. I mean, I am doing great compared to my life 5 years ago but as always, my car is about to ruin everything. I need to renew my license and registration and because of my demerits from the accident I was in back in December my insurance rate went up. The best thing for me to do is to pay for it annually so that I do not have to worry about monthly payments. I have until May. That’s practically all my savings right there. I would have to scramble around to come up with enough for a damage deposit for an apartment. Then once we move into our place I will likely be dipping into my credit a lot because my car payments are still so high. I don’t know how I can afford to have an apartment and a car. Especially if my biggest desire is to quit my current job which pays $7 more than minimum wage. I think I might have to sell my car? Maybe I can talk to a financial advisor at my bank and see what my options are. They will probably want to buy out the car loan which I have through another bank. Assuming that I don’t sell my car for a beater. I really do not know what to do.
My best friend just got a promotion at her law firm. She is not a lawyer but she is some special paralegal now. Gets to have her own office and assistant and everything. I feel so inspired to get my ass in gear. On Monday or this afternoon, I will set up an appointment with a career counsellor and get that ball rolling for myself. I do want to go back to school. I do. They will guide me.
It’s funny how my confidence got a little shook while writing this entry and now I can’t see any of the progress that I mentioned earlier when I looked in the mirror. Blimey.
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