Bittersweet in Hello

What follows is a series of text messages I was sending to a friend.

I've got some things in my head flowing around that I'm having a hard time articulating...here's a few.

I'm actually depressed today. Back to work after almost two weeks off. Valentine's Day with no money to do anything. We both worked different shifts.

I guess I damned myself. Her and I both had a conversation about how Valentine's Day can suck it. Well, she still bought me a heart shaped box of chocolates with a pirate on the cover because of my constant usage of the word, "Yarr!" Well, I was too broke because I was out of work to do anything. Then well it's today you know. Just started thinking I'm the biggest loser in the world because NOW I want to make it special. Just have been alone for so long that this day has lost it's meaning...until it hit me all at once last night.

I'm being crazy but it's what I feel.

The friend then said I was being too hard on myself and that she'd understand.

She does. I even told her on my lunch break basically what I just told you. But it's compounded with the fact that I've been laid up two weeks in bed, hardly leaving the house due to injury. Then it snows! And I can walk around albeit painfully but I can't go outside to enjoy it. Then the next day I decide to finally get out of the house, this was yesterday. (Thursday) Well? The few inches we got? It melted! Hardly a trace.

Then I said: I'd also like to point out how articulate my messages are. Still sober. Four months Sunday. (I used to drunk text this friend ALL the time because she was the only one I knew that'd be up as late as I. Reading my sent box when I sobered up usually after sleeping it off...ho boy. Talk about diarrhea of misplaced letters and confusing plot twists...heh...OK, that line just made me smile.)

As I said...bittersweet.