Some Thoughts... in Hello

I go to Cracked.com and Reddit.com and read stories from other alcoholics to remain inspired.

Was talking to mom the other night that if I hadn't gotten my head wedged so far up my ass with my own crazy/addiction that my life would be so much better right now.

To which she replied, and I'm paraphrasing here, "But you've got to look at it this way, you're picking up the pieces of your life and doing better and well for yourself. You'll be grateful soon."

I know it has only been four months...but I think of all I've done.

Driven drunk and have slammed into curbs, broke into a doctors office to use the phone, a few one night stands with people from the bar, SO many texts/phone calls, hit my lowest point in October of 2012 when I was out of work due to suspension (excessive call outs due to alcoholism related issues) grabbed a bunch of cd's and dvd's and sold them just for money to get a twelve pack.

It's a long hard road out of Hell but god damnit I've never wanted something so badly in all my life that I fight tooth and nail to be who I am today.

All my past indiscretions, every stupid fucking decision and bad choice has lead me here. Shaken not shattered. Wiser but humbled. I will get through this.