actual entry for yesterday and morning thoughts in Second 1st

I’m kinda going to be working off of the listings entry because .... brain no working.

if you don’t know how I feel about purses.... they are the reason men think it’s okay that we don’t have pockets. We need pockets so we don’t have to carry purses. Purses make us muck more vulnerable to mugging and they make it much easier to lose everything you NEED. It pockets were bigger we’d put cellphone, keys, wallet and whatever minor items we thought we needed. Of course there are exceptions to every rule. Which is why animal/fuzzy backpack style purse would be the only one I ever had. The backpack style purse is the least likely to be mugged (while wearing it) and if it’s fuzzy or has the zipper on the back it’s impossible to “pic pocket” not to mention adorable and fun. Moving on.... I hate purses possibly more than I have not having ample pocket space. Moving on

Was kind of irritated with Eddie yesterday. He’s always coming out to talk and generally be in the way but yesterday..... I went over to put the heaviest thing we have bought to sell online to date. I backed the van in and I was already off kilter so I didn’t back it up far enough being scared of hitting Eddie’s car. I got in the garage and had to more a couple trash bags that smelled like dead things to get back to where I needed. I used the hand cart with a bit of difficulty because the box was so long. I had to carry the box on my head with my arm extended as far as I could to the handle. I’m not complaining about the work okay don’t get me wrong here this is just to tell you what he saw because I saw him seeing. He did not rush out to help, he just went back to the rest of his house. That’s fine I’m not upset about that believe it or not. However, a few weeks back when we all went to Columbia in the van he made a big deal out of “My mom would have my hide if she knew I let you sit in the back seat”..... are those not different people? The one who wont’let a woman sit in the back seat and the one who just stands there watching her struggle?..... I did tell Rocky about it and asked him not to mention it to Eddie I do prefer just doing it on my own without the 1/2 hr of chit chat .... I’d rather struggle but then don’t give me some chivalrous bullshit.

At 1 I met with a guy about the mattress. I rated him low as a buyer because I felt it extremely rude to ask me about the product while I was there rather than on the app. The questions could have been answered on the app and he could have made a better informed decision about buying it. As it was he was saying Ïf it leaks I’m going to be pissed” I was a wreck before the conversation was over. It was a rough ride home and once I got to sitting here at my desk I was very unwell. I ended up being physically sick and then it started to calm. I was still not right when:

The guy show I was supposed to meet at 2:30 decided he wanted to meet early. No problem I’ll be there. Went to head out and did 2 things.... one I locked the door, which I hardly ever do if I know I’m going to be back in 10. Secondly, I left my keys inside. I thought HA no big deal I’ll get the key from the hiding hole and get down there before they do anyway because I had given myself extra time because of the dizzy. NOPE someone had used the key and not put it back. I later texted Sammy about it and then had to apologize because Rocky admitted to being the culprit. Luckily I was only out there about 20 mins and the guy was willing to go the extra little bit to the house. He even offered to Jimmy the door for me. I told him that my husband was usually home at 2:20 (this being like 2:07) and I’d be fine till then it’s really not a big deal just that it happened.

Rocky got home and admitted to it and all was fine. Had a couple no text backs/cancels after that and one that I thought was 5:30 yesterday after looking at it again later is for 5:30 today.... so there it that.... after realizing that I was really done. The stress caught up completely and though no longer dizzy I was very tired so we went to bed at like 5:30. Rocky played games for a bit and I was cat napping waiting to hear from the idiot who bought the mattress. Rocky kept reminding me he can buy a patch kit at Wal Mart and that he’d paid $30 for something I’d asked $50 for and it retails for just under $70 so “fuck him”. Eventually I went to sleep. Woke at 8:30 and checked in on the apps, no word. Woke at 1:15, checked on the apps, no word. Woke at 3am checked on the apps, no word but a sale on Mercari I’ll need to package and send out … Went back to sleep and woke to tell Rocky to have a good day but then slept till 6

Threw in a load of laundry and started thinking about what I need to do today. So now we are in today’s stuff. I’m not well today. I don’t think I’m going to work on Justin’s at all. My goal is to get this other stuff logged and get the kitchen cleaned up so we can space when Kerri and the guys come Tuesday. Which reminds me to be angry again..... last week When they came the house was a mess. The guys had been working on the attic and the dinning room was full of things that needed to go in the back room. Of course the backroom was jammed with things that needed to go in the attic. They finished maybe 20 mins before the group had showed up. Rocky had dragged me into a mad dash to get them to help. I handed him things to put in the living room then he pulled the attic steps and had the guys hand him thing in the attic. This took 2 rounds and there are still a few small boxes to go up there but it only took like 15 mins with all the help. However, all the was a cross the house Kerri said Ïf they ever come over to our house I’m going to find some work for them to do” It got passed to me so that statement may not be 100% accurate. I’m sure the core is true though..... that even though they drink our beer and never bring any.... even though I fix food for them every week and they never bring any..... even though it is not EVERY time they come over we need help with something...... they feel abused..... “fuck THEM” no joke who they hell do they think they are? It’s Rocky and I here and though Sammy should have helped and didn’t who are they to think I owe them my hospitality for nothing? It wasn’t HARD work and Rocky did the worst of it. It’s infuriating. I was dizzy by the time the mad dash was over.

Anyways, laundry, dishes, get this stuff logged, at some point I’ll need to go to WM and get a bigger box because I don’t(have a box big enough) .... well I don’t think I do I’ll check again because as I type this I remember where I put some other boxes. Then I’ll need to take that to the shipping place. I’ll want to do that early as I can because when I wasn’t early a couple times ago I had to wait in line for like 20 mins. I need to write out my speech for the doc in the morning. Speech? yeah. I know he’s going to ask a bunch of questions I know the answers to so it’s just going to be easier. “Hi, I’m Jennifer, I’m here about Meniere’s disease and this in my story....... ” writing this all out I shouldn’t forget to tell him that relief from the steroids was very temporary and how it’s been since the Gent shot. Rocky is with my on staying home because he can see how off balance I am after walking a cross a parking lot. So if he does some kind of short walking test we will bring that up. .... I of course want to tell him about the other doctor and my amazing ENT ..... you know to establish care.... and ultimately ask for more off time and Therapy. This time off has been nice because I’m not having to push myself too much but yesterday kinda proved that I’m not going to be able to do this without MORE help. I will always be a contributing member of society because if I’m not working I will start something (as I have) and do what I can to really turn it into something I can do without a factory job but I”m not physically ready to go back. The stress at work everyday will be the level it was yesterday. I won’t be able to do my job which is why I needed this to begin with and I would say since the Gent shot it has gotten worse. I’m going to call Reed Group sometime today to make sure I have the fax # and information right for what the doctor would need to send. Then Wednesday I have another appointment with the ENT. I scheduled this one just so she could fill out release papers for work. It the new nerve doc won’t put me off longer and get me into therapy I’ll ask her to do it.

Whew, long entry, guess I had a lot on my mind. I’m going to see if I can find a box now and try to go do that before my brain decides that was too much for today lol