Trying To Be A Better Me & Other Stuff in meh...

That starts with not becoming incessantly angry.
That means not beating myself up over my children’s decisions.

I have come to realize that I get my anger/temper from my father.
I get my micromanaging, parenting style from my mother.
I can be very impatient. (comes from a life time of patience, I have no tolerance anymore.)
For myself, I try not to nitpick or explode, so I sit and try to wish it away…THEN I explode.
So that is a bad marriage of these two things coming together with my consciousness of my ways and it exploding all in my face like a huge bubble gum bubble.

Not. Good.

My daughter’s electricity was shut off yesterday. Her phone was dead and I couldn’t reach her. I didn’t get to park in my space yesterday because my good neighbor was working on his truck and where he was, I didn’t want to smash him, so I parked out front. She didn’t see my car so she was behind the old bar using the electric sockets to charge her phone. In the meantime, Bubby Jr’s dad dropped him off to me because he couldn’t reach her. I couldn’t reach her. So I had him for a while. I was bothered because I was prepared to be home alone for a while. I had been dealing with neck strain and pain all day. I had a specified dinner idea. I wasn’t able to do my devotional reading. I was lying on the couch when he knocked on the door. So I had the baby until about 8 when I drove him down the street to his mother. The car was there, but she wasn’t. I was in the car when she and Bubby Sr. walked up to the car. So I took them all to my house, let them in, then left to pick up my son.

When I got home, Bubby Sr. was asleep in my bed, Jr and his momma were downstairs. I started dinner. Because I’m fasting, I’m not doing a whole lot or eating a whole lot right now and am only on one meal a day basically. Which, I don’t even have food in my house (my fridge that I’d had over 20 years died in February; took a few weeks-almost a month- for my landlords to get me another one) and I haven’t been shopping for real since. It’s a tax waiting game.

My daughter’s taxes were pulled to be checked, so she hasn’t received them yet. Got a letter from the IRS and some other stuff. She is barely working. ::smh:: It’s whatever. I refuse to be upset about HER stuff.

My son has two jobs now. The second job works him and it’s good for him. I went shopping and told him about the shoe store I was at was looking for help. He needs to wear polo style shirts and he refuses so he’s sweaty like all the time. He doesn’t wash his hair regularly and you can tell. But, having these two jobs really messed him up. I told him if you don’t like two jobs, then find ONE job that will pay you the equivalent of both together and get you some benefits and deal with it. I teach this to him all the time. I think he gets it now.

He also turned 21 on the 10th. His father took him to get drinks, but was trying to teach him, what I called, “Hoe Shit.” Trying to teach him how to be a player with the women. The world doesn’t need more of that. We’ve got a whole lot. My son confided in me that he doesn’t like black girls. I said, I don’t care. I didn’t care about any of the chicks he decided that he liked. I also told him to like who likes you. I know I do. And that is that.

Friday is the banquet/gala/formal for dad’s birthday. I’m torn about which dress to wear. I will have to bring my clothes to work and change here or take them to the church and change there. I’m trying to factor in weather and such because one dress is strapless with a sheer jacket and the other is more covered. I don’t know. Both are my favorite colors (one orange, one royal purple) I have nail polish for both. LOL Me and my girl stuff. Oh well…

That’s all the stupid stuff I have to get out today.
Love to you all…

Kindest regards,
Sister