With All This I Am Still Grateful in Everyday Ramblings

Yeah. Much needed color returns to my world.

So in the cycle of my now almost 65 years here in this place in this body I have noticed I have a range of times during the year when I feel a sense of engagement, joy and ease in my days and times when I don’t.

The Ides, so yesterday the 15th is usually a very very bad day followed by an upswing in energy and mood.

Wow, yesterday was a very very bad day for our world, for our sense of faith and hope for our species. The folks that got out with their young people to say something important about climate change provided an antidote to this.

The folks that stood outside mosques all over the world during Friday prayers with signs that said we are with you, we belong together, we value and appreciate you and don’t want to live in a world that isn’t enriched by your presence here now, made me cry.

And then the poet W.S. Merwin died at 91. I can understand why he might have felt it was time to go.

It is a challenge not to succumb to the numbness of depression. We are tired, we are weak, we are worn… as the hymn says.

Today here the sun is out. We are expecting something that resembles warmth. This is the way the cycle works for me…after the Ides as we move into spring in this hemisphere (and I am a creature of my hemisphere) through to the 4th of July I am usually good.

Not that very very bad things don’t continue to happen but I am a little more resilient and able to deal.

But it will take some time to ramp up into that sense of ease.

I bailed, (something I rarely do), on Mrs. Sherlock and Frida on this beautiful morning, and bailed on the gym too.

For the last 6 days I have been doing this Isometric Strength yoga course and working and teaching and doing things I don’t want to do (like canceling my cable and mailing back the box and remote) and I am mildly sore all over and tired and may have a touch of the late in the season flu virus that has been hitting this area hard.

Tomorrow I am going to a three-hour yoga teacher training alignment workshop, which will include sitting on the floor and practice drills so I need energy and focus for that.

The cats are curled up together in the bed I placed on top of their half tower I brought into my bedroom/workroom when they were sick a couple of weeks ago. Carlo’s back paws keep slipping, as there really isn’t room for them both in there. It softens my banged up heart to watch.

I have muscles I didn’t know I have talking to me. It seems like a good day to commune with my Instapot and my ability to putter and nap.

And absorb the change that is afoot both bad and more importantly for the better.

I would really like to live in a place and time where I would not get an unexpected bill for a co pay for the brain scan last month for $781.00 even though I have what is considered excellent health insurance through my job.