Survey in Hello

Smokey is sound asleep in my lap, man he’s warm.

Do you still talk to the person you had your first kiss with?
Last I heard she became a truck stop prostitute. I know how to pick ‘em.

What would you do with 1,000 plastic spoons?
Play spoons!

What kind of music did you listen to in elementary?
Pop radio? That was so long ago.

What <strike>is</strike> was the best thing about your job?
You can care as much as you want or as little as you want and it don’t make a lick of difference because we are poorly managed. I stay on Reddit all night, draw, or read a book while machining.

Do you wish cell phone etiquette was a required class?
No. I’d like to bring back pencil and paper. I’ve seen kids write in text speak on paper. I’d bring back good grammar and vocabulary.

Where are you going on your next vacation?
What is this, “vacation,” you speak of?

Quote a song lyric.

Drug me with natural vitamin C
Drug me with pharmaceutical speed
Drug me with your sleeping pills
Drug me with your crossword puzzles
Drug me with your magazines
Drug me with your fuck machines
With a fountain of fads, more rock and roll ads
Drug me, drug me, drug me-me-me
Dead Kennedys

Are most of the friends in your life new or old?
I’ve lnown my best friend Eric for 19 years. My othee best friend Mike for 18.

Do you own any furniture from Ikea?
Yeah, I’m not rich.

If you could be an animal what would you be?
Grizzly bear or a house cat.

What state/country are you from?
North Alabama baybee!

Tell us about the last conversation/s you had.
Going over our collective days with mom.

Where do you see yourself in one month?
Tired of work?

What is your favorite smell?
Cotton candy body spray. Oooh that one takes me back.

What is your favorite sight?
My fur babies coming to greet me when I get home from work.

Do you consider yourself bi-polar?
Uh, get back to me on that one.

Have you ever done anything vindictive to your coworkers?
There is one currently I’d like to repeatedly punch in the face for being a paranoid idiot.

Have you ever gone to therapy?
Shit, got an appointment in seven hours.

Have you ever played Spin the bottle?
Nah

Have you ever toilet-papered someone’s house?
Actually yes. Gf’s mom’s house on her birthday. 😁

Have you ever liked someone but never told them?
Mhm

Have you ever gone camping?
Yup

Have you ever had a crush on your sister/brother’s friend?
My brother’s ex wife count? She screwed him up bad, though.

Have you ever been to a nude beach?
No and no interest. It’s overweight elderly people. shudder

Have you ever had sex on the beach?
Nope

Have you ever had a stalker?
Nope

Have you ever BEEN the stalker?
One of my exes talked a lot of shit about me in regards to this but no. She’s a liar.

Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?
Tons!

Have you ever gone to a party where you were the only sober one?
Mhm, was DD for a two friends.

Have you ever been cheated on?
Sadly yes…

Have you ever felt betrayed by your best friend?
A few.

Have you ever lied to your parents?
Sadly yes

Have you ever been out of the US?
Unfortunately no

Have you ever gotten a haircut so bad that you wore a hat for a month straight?
I’m not that superficial so no.

Have you ever eaten 3 meals from 3 different fast food places in 1 day?
Ugh, yes!

Have you ever gotten so wasted you can’t remember the night before?
Ha! You’re talking about my Saturdays.

Have you ever spied on someone you had a crush on?
Peeked at their FB page.

Have you ever slept with one of your coworkers?
Almost every retail job I’ve found a girl willing to bone. Good times!

Kissed more than one person at a time?
Threesome another ex talked me into. Oh to be 20 again.

Pot? Kettle?
Teapot, yo!

Last updated March 12, 2019