I AM A GENIUS but i am so tired in The grotesque metamorphosis of a Bi-Polar human into a Tri-polar monster.

Mixed states are something that are relatively new to me…I can’t remember if they started before I began my medication or not…I feel like they may have, but I was just talking to someone last night about how my memory is a blur.

My body is extremely depressed and just wants to lay around and eat junk food and read and play video games. Working out has been extremely hard…BUT that’s where the mixed state comes in, because I’m still able to work out, because I am getting psychic messages that my body needs to become a weapon so that I can be of use in whatever it is that’s coming.

My psychic abilities and theta powers are not going to be enough, I need to be strong, fast, and resilient.

I’m working pretty hard at the moment, even through my depression I don’t take days off, I do something to make my body stronger every day because they’re constantly telling me I need to be stronger than this, faster than this…honestly, I don’t even think I’ll be completely ready when the time comes, but I’ll be as ready as I can be I guess.

I was telling one of my friends last night about how I have been activated, and I was kind of waiting for him to brush it off as a manic thing, but then he surprised by bringing up something I had actually kind of forgotten about: Back in like…2011, I had this vision and, with visions being psychic in nature, I will explain to you as best I can…well, basically I was told/shown that we would have a con artist as a leader after the leader we have now ( Obama at the time ) and that he would claim to bring change but would fail to deliver, he would get elected again, and shortly after re-election would be assassinated which would provoke war in the country…I got the feeling it was a civil war, but also we could be attacked by an outside force? I don’t know…all I know is that chaos is going to ensue.

This is all part of the pole-shift that is happening, when you fuck with the magnetism of the planet it has a drastic affect on every living thing. This particular event is ushering in an evolution of the mind and spirit for humanity, and since “good” and “evil” are in actuality just equal opposites of the same force, when you have a drastic upsurge of something “good” happening like a mass awakening/evolution then of course there is going to be a drastic backlash of “evil” or chaos.

So…I had momentarily forgotten about that vision because my focus has been so undivided on the task at hand…but apparently my friend has never forgotten about that vision, and as all of the events of the past 8 years have been unfolding he’s been getting to be quite the believer that maybe we’re not crazy…maybe our “hallucinations” are actually happening. ( You see, he was Bi-Polar 1 just like me for a long time, with psychotic episodes like me…but then the voices just kind of never went away for him…so now, all day every day he hears the group of inter-dimensional beings assigned to him as they dissect his every decision aloud.)

…

I don’t know…

Maybe I’m not even in a mixed state right now?
I don’t feel crazy at all.
I’m not really eating…but I’m sleeping. I mean, my sleep schedule is super fucked up, but I’m sleeping.
I’ve been taking my meds.
I don’t have some sudden well of creative energy or unfounded confidence.
But…

…I didn’t have anything like this happen while I was on a higher dose of my anti-psychotics…it wasn’t until they lowered the dose that this started up again.

So…do my meds just limit my powers?
Or am I crazy?
Or is this real?
…I mean, I personally believe that all humans have psychic abilities, just they just are dormant because humans are full of lies and secrets and deceit.

I also don’t believe I am human beyond the fact that I am obviously in a human body right now.

So…

hahaha

Good stuff.

I’m sitting here thinking that I should get a therapist.
My next thought was, “No, maybe you should get a lawyer”
but I wouldn’t actually tell a therapist about all of this, anyway.
I never do.
I tried once.
Won’t do that again.

Sorry you have to suffer through it, I’m sure it’s probably a lot to take in.
I don’t expect you to have anything to say, or any advice.
I love you…I don’t mean to burden you.
- Dane