I hope she's okay in Stuff

Woohoo, I’m on a week’s holiday! It’s just my normal days off until Thursday, when I jet off to Sydney for Mardi Gras. I don’t even know why I keep going lol. I feel like I’m so old and jaded and bitter these days that I shouldn’t be subjecting myself to these events. Having said that, I tend to enjoy Mardi Gras more than I do Tropical Fruits, probably because I can do heaps more things in Sydney than I can stuck in a field in a country town.

The only party I’m currently attending is the underwhere party, and even that I’ve almost talked myself out of going to a few times. But it’s the one time and place a year that there’s a high chance of running into my Sydney crush. Not that I ever do anything about it because he’s like an 11 and I’m like a 4 in comparison LOL. Thanks positive mind!
But, if I get drunk enough and grab his butt again, I’ll be happy.
It’ll be fucking weird with Peeta there though. The feeling between us is veeeeery dark these days, at least on my mind. He asked me to send him photos of the new apartment and I said, “Just come over and see it” (even though I didn’t really want him to) and he just goes, “Not gonna happen” or something along those lines. Lol. A stark contrast to this time last year when he was starring lovingly into my eyes on the dancefloor at Arq and not even looking at any other guys (THAT was awkward enough) and then later on declaring his love for me back in the hotel room. It just blows my mind how vastly things can change. I’m not sure how we could ever be the same again, or not even the same. More like, not hate each other, because that’s what it feels like. So yeah, him at that club is going to make me feel a bit like shit, and he’ll probably be all over Adam like he was at Tropical Fruits, which is actually a bit hot because Adam is hot haha. But yeah, I wonder who Luke will be out with this year. It’s so hard to figure out if he’s ever dating someone or if he’s a commitment-phobe like me. Go team.
I would secretly love to find out that’s he’s slutty. But I doubt it haha.

In other news, my sister’s chemo and radiography treatments are hitting her hard. She tends to not let onto us siblings in the group chat how things really are. I mean she does, but then I find out more information via our mother, who sends pictures of all this swelling on her neck and inflamed lymph nodes and hollowed-out areas on her body. She sure doesn’t share that with us. I’m a bit worried, also especially with how her husband is sharing more and more pictures of them going away on trips together.
My mind can’t help but think of the worst. Maybe the cancer is stronger than her. I dunno. I still have hope for her and I like that she’s staying positive and maybe just not trying to scare us by sharing this other information. Unlike our mother who certainly does and now it’s made me more worried. She booked in to have an emergency ultrasound to find out why she was swelling and apparently it’s because of the extra work that arteries next to those arteries are having to do within her body. So that’s a bit of a phew. I dunno, there’s so much involved and she’s doing all she can do, and that’s all I can hope for I suppose.

I think that’s all I wanted to say.