The adventures of Tina and her magic Vag... in Fear & Loathing in Steel City

  • Feb. 19, 2014, 11:33 a.m.
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  • Public

I've been hanging out with someone new for the last few months, who I will refer to on this blog as Margaret. While it's nothing serious... we've hung out, shared meals and watched a bit of television whenever something good is on. Margaret happens to be hooked on a specific soap opera and because I've been over often, I've been watching it with her. That soap opera is long standing British series called Coronation Street.

Thanks goodness it's only 30 minutes per episode, because I think that's all Margaret can handle per day of me making fun of her favorite soap during the commercials. Don't get me wrong, compared to the absurd rubbish that is Days Of Our Lives and the other ridiculous American Soap Operas, Coronation Street is very tolerable to a point. Most of the time when it's on, I'm usually on my notebook working on my writing... but I can't help but overhear and even peek at the show every now and then when it catches my curiosity.

Some storylines have been rather good, while others are outright laughable and very deserving of my ridicule.

That brings us to the title of this entry (my apologies to anyone who is offended by it) which happen to ring true about a girl named Tina. This woman apparently according to Margaret is in her mid-twenties but looks like she is barely legal, which is what I'm sure men find so damn hot about her. She looks like jailbait and acts like it too. Tina appears to have a magic vag that attracts any and all men who happen to inhabit this soap opera. Tina also suffers from a medical condition known as 'Sexually Liberated Uterine Tendencies'; a common side effect of having a magic vag. Based on what I've observed, Tina seems to have a thing for men who are taken, which only lowers my opinion on her and how she uses her magic vag for evil. She is what people on the island I used to live on refer to as a bag.

A few weeks ago, Tina appeared to move away to London much to the relief of all married and engaged men in the neighborhood. Then this week, the magic vag returns and suddenly people are fighting and breaking up right, left and center. Men who are married to hotties of their own stare at other men who have been caught kissing Tina in a jealous rage, despite the fact that he's a no good, cheating scumbag (cough, Peter, cough). For some reason this woman returning to town just to pack up some stuff she conveniently forgot to take with her when she moved brings chaos to once thought steady relationships like a hurricane blowing into Florida.

Yet Margaret (and probably many women who watch this show) think Tina is the victim here. I get their thinking: she's a single girl being hit on by all these men who are obviously sick pigs for cheating on their fiance/wife. Truth is, she's just as much to blame for what the men do because she has no morals what so ever. Yes, men who make out with her are scum for straying but it takes two to Tango here people. Tina and her magic vag are not innocent and are just as irresponsible for what happens when she waves herself around like a girl walking the street.

I'm just waiting for one of the women married or engaged to a guy she's messing around with finally takes her anger/wrath out on her for a change. I'd like to see someone give Tina a slap for being such a bag. Stan Lee once coined the phrase 'with great power comes great responsibility' and I can assure you that holds true for those who possess a magic vag on a British soap opera.

Peter


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