Dads death changed me, husband back to work, cry in Misadventures of West Virginia Woman

The death of a person changes your entire viewpoint. If they were not agreeable in life yet you stuck around anyway because you love them those moments are missed. Small moments are cherished and held onto tightly. You keep items because the person who passed gave\ owned those items. You catch yourself wishing you spent more time with them.

You memember the petty arguments and cling to them wishing to talk to this person one more time. You want them to say i love you to hug you one more time.

You grow interest in the activities the deceased once did hoping doing their interest will trigger memories and moments of happiness. You try to be more like them in the hope one day to understand why they did.

You cry over thing you never thought about before their death. I cry over my dads overalls, his garage and his favorite singer Tina Turner. I cry holding his clothes trying to remember his scent. I listen to his old music trying to gather memories. I catch myself fearful i will forget his name.

I spent most of my life living at his house or in a house next door. I always visited on the daily until an argument forced me to leave. I wanted to go back. He didnt want me around because he didnt agree me marrying my husband. We didnt talk briefly for me to go back to repair our relationship. We got very close. I always told him i loved him arguing or not.. I wish i could say i love you now. I hope he knew how much i care for him.

My mom is so lost without him. Always crying i cant fix it. Mom wants me to visit but something wrong with my truck once it warms up it shuts down quits driving. I cant afford to tow it or fix it so i am staying close by my home.

My husband doesnt like idea me moving back to moms he jealous i always been close to her. Until her heart heals his opinions do not matter.. I will be there for mom if he likes it or not! We still havent found a mobile home to move yet so we living in the trailer park.. It is nice and peaceful here.

My boss cut my hours again. I cant afford my bills again. Thank God Monday Talan is going back to work after almost 2 months unemployed. He will stay 3 days in a hotel work 10 hours a day in Charleston. I will stay home care for the cats and work.

I think i am going to the shower to cry a bit. I miss dad. I am tired of being broke. I wish i had dads mechanical know how.. Dad was Mr Fix It.. I wish i had half his skill.. Time doesnt heal all wounds i still cry about him and dream he talks to me..i feel so lonely.

Last updated February 10, 2019