Repeats - 11.02.14 in Your Face

Back to being angry. Furious at how selfish he is. How stupid I feel. Indignant at how he called me "childish" in an earlier argument, yet he behaves like this. I have no compassion left for his coping mechanisms in a traumatic time. How can someone who loves me treat me like this? It's disgusting.

It doesn't help that I am sick and at home, bored in bed and stewing over all of this. I can't give any more. He knows where to find me once he grows up and faces reality.

I gave my final notice at work. I will finish at the end of May. If I'm going to the US before then, fine. If the timing is right, fine. My greencard will be cancelled if I don't claim it by early July, so if my husband hasn't got his shit together by the end of May, then I am done. I will pack my car and fuck off elsewhere to lick my wounds and start again. It probably sounds like bravado, but I do mean it. It's not what I want, at all, but I am wasting my life waiting on someone who does nothing to restore my confidence in them. I need to draw the line somewhere.

God, I want to HATE him, but I can't even manage to do that. FML.