Demotion,homeless brother, moving, missing dad in Misadventures of West Virginia Woman

I have decided i am demoting myself from key holder to cashier. I told my boss with dads death last month i simply cannot live up to his stressful expectations. I will be paid less but my mental health needs a break.He said until he can find someone for the position i must continue the position. I simply cannot be talked down to over other peoples actions. I much rather be accountable for my own actions. I am losing pay but it is less bullshit to deal with. At least i still have a job.

After worked i visited dads grave and cried. I wish things would have ended differently. I would happily give all i owned or all i even would to talk to him 1 more time. So many questions were unanswered. I was desperately want to hear him say i love you 1 more time. I know we had our problems but i kept going back. I forgave him for all he did to me. The last 3 months of his life were our best. No amount of money can replace the time i got to spend with him.

I am hiding under my blanket crying hoping for my husband Talan to not catch me. I have been trying to find a way to get a grief counselor. After dad died i debated on killing myself instead i decided to stick around to try to help mom.

My brother Tom and sister in law Lesa got behind financially ended up having to move into my old apartment no water, no sewer and power about ready to be shut off at their current house they are desperate so they moving . Me, Tom, Desiree, Janet and Talan manage to move an entire apartment in less than 8 hours to aunt Janet’s storage building. Lesa continue talking about what a bitch i am on facebook yet i help prevent them from being homeless. Several repairs must be made in the apartment. I am not sure if lesa ego will allow me over to help them after all she threatened to punch me in the mouth and kick my ass. She is such an ungrateful bitch. She needs to be grateful the family is preventing her homelessness.

My aunt Janet going to help us repair a hole in my underpinning at my mobile home today after she gets off of work. I hope that and the warm water will stop my waterline from blowing in the mobile home.

With Talan losing his job and this is my first day at work in 3 weeks due to a fall injuring my ankle at work money is a hard thing to come by. I got a $55 check in the mail and cried. That might be the difference between rent and homelessness. I put it in my checking account hating how poor i am. Talan still fighing not to sign up for unemployment his ego wont let him. I am annoyed wish he would just get any job at all!

Mom said in spring she plans find a doublewide put it on her property for us. We lost the single wide that was given to us due to a new law saying single wides cannot be put on a lot without permission from all neighbors. The previous owner gave it away because he couldnt wait for court case. He needed it moved to place his new mobile home in. When he said he gave it away i cried. I wanted to live at moms but destiny had other plans maybe in the spring i can find a nicer place to stay until then i guess i will live in the trailer park.. The trailer park i live in is peaceful. I dont mind it is mom who wants me at her home.

I am so tired. We stayed up late unloaded my items in my aunts storage because i have no location at my mobile home. She drove by dads grave on the way there i placed myself in my truck and cried. I have no idea how long must i live not to cry over dad being buried there. I wish dad was still alive.

I am going to rest until Janet gets here to help me with repairs. Tomorrow i need to haul some items to the dump from moms. I doubt Tom will do it so i guess i will. I hope i dont cry missing dad. I still cry over places we visited together. I think i need a psychiatrist.