Rip Marciano in Riverdale

R.i.P Marciaono

Dear Marciano, It's been nine years since you have died. I was 17 when you died, you were 22.

I didn't want to believe it. I has never knew anyone who had died before.

I called your phone over and over again getting the same song by The Roots "Comming to Break You Off"

Finally your number was disconnected.

It didn't sink in till my mom found the death notice in the paper. Jermaine had told me but he lied so much and be blamed me for your death that I thought it was just bullshit.

It was Friday the 13th a rumour swirled around that someone told you to be careful that day going out.

I don't know if that was true.

You were waiting for the bus and the transport truck hit you.

Ever since than I find it really hard to wait at certain bus stops.

I don't know how to feel about you.

I don't miss you. But I am sad that you died that way. You were young and hopefully you could've gotten your life together. I know you life wasn't easy. That you changed your name to get away from your family and parents. I can relate to that.

For a long time I did not know what you did to me though when I was 15 was rape. It was my second time ever having it. I didn't really want to but you coerced me and I was so charmed by you and young and niave that I didn't do anything. I numbed out and went into my head while you raped me. I came back and this time I thought I could stand my ground and not have you force yourself on me but it didn't work.

You told me not to tell anyone especially because I was so young.

I really thought I loved you. We talked on the phone for hours.

The last time I saw you I remeber it so clearly. I said goodbye and kissed you and you turned away from me.

You were always push and pull and nice and mean.

Ultimately you were a predator my perpetrator.

I didn't wish what happened to you

I just know it took me awhile to accept what you really did to me.

I do hope you rest in peace.

But I also will never forget what you did mostly.

It's hard for me to see you as an angel or this great guy just because you died. Because what you did to me stayed w me. I will never completely get over what you did to me. You took a piece of my soul when you died Nd I believe I took a piece of yours as well.

When you have sex with someone especially when you violated me you cannot help but have a soul exchange in some ways.

I have forgiven you mostly. I guess because you are not physically alive. But It will stay with me and it did shape me in many ways.