mixed news in Second 1st

So, I’m not sure I like the doctor. Rocky loves him because he’s no fluff.... but… I need a little fluff. After discussion of where I’m at he decided of 3 stages I was already in stage 2 of 3 and he believes though it’s never completely gone it fizzles out in 10 yrs.

There was talk of surgery. I have some emotional trauma from that because it is not what I expected. The risk of the surgery is that I could lose 10% more of my hearing .... the pro is the vertigo should stop and I could gain some of the hearing I’ve lost. If I do nothing I WILL eventually go deaf in my right ear. So logically the surgery would be then next thing to do. Shunt surgery. I was barely listening as I was crying a tad bit trying to hold in the illogical emotion.

I have not scheduled it. They will call me. I called mom, Destiny, Jerry, and The HR group thing because..... he put me on short term medical leave.... until March 15th! over the next few days I’ll have to get that paperwork sent here ant there and be annoyed with it but at least I don’t have to get up at 4 am for work and therefore don’t have to wake so early to maintain 4am in order to actually wake up on the weekends. Possibly getting more than 6hrs sleep consistently, having time to clean and time to lean. Mostly though not spending days in recovering from 3 days of 12hrs of work AND being able to take a nap and medicine that causes naps and not having to rush for ANYTHING I have to do at home.

In other news Krystal is also out of work due to an injury until Feb 4th so now I’m trying to start a DnD game with her and hopefully William whom I have messaged and not received response.

Rocky went to take a nap after we got home, his dad was already here so he did that real quick and laid down about 2:30. I ran out to get a few things. Mostly for dinner, partially to eat something salty without anyone knowing. I’m emotionally a wreck really and I’m going to fix that like I have in the past. I know it’s unhealthy and I know I’ll feel bad both in the morning and in a few days… I hope I don’t complain about it too much but tonight.... I”m having a few drinks. I’m tired of no. I need a pick me up of some kind. Liquid social lubricant while the group is over and a band aid for my emotional distress. I will worry about my physical distress some other time.