charlie in the middle in poetry

I can’t find a middle name for Charlie Brown
ruining my joke about him being bullied past
the point of breaking and assassinating his
hero the baseball player Joe Schlabotnik
always being called “Charles Earl Brown”
or “Charles Matthew Brown” or whatever
in the press when he isn’t being called
The Blockhead Killer in the tabloids

I can’t make the Son of Sam joke that
“He talked to his dog,” said neighbor Lucy Van Pelt,
“God help me, he really believed it understood him,
he really thought it could talk back and one day,
I guess it told him it was time to kill”
I cannot make that joke without knowing
if his full name was “Charles Alan Brown”
or “Charles Harvey Brown” or whatever

I can’t make a joke about a teacher being interviewed
on the television saying “he had serious attention problems,
whenever I tried to talk to him, try to get him to reach out
and I know it all just sounded like wah-wah-wah-wah to him”
but until I know if his name was “Charles Daniel Brown”
or “Charles Wilkes Brown” what is even the damn point?

google won’t help me or wikipedia even
his name is only good ol’ Charlie Brown
so Schroder can’t say how quiet he was
Pig-Pen can’t say how sometimes Charlie
would scream the trees as if they were
conspiring against him and his kites
but I can’t because he’s just
good ol’ Charlie Brown