The Demons in My Head in Adventures of New baby and family

I feel he will eventually return.... Its not like this is the first time.
I know I am happier, the kids are happier. We can breath a sigh of relief.
The demons lurking in the shadow some of my deep thoughts and fears.
I know he has $5000 to freely spend the way he chooses. He did it this summer and came back about a month later. More like 3 weeks but he did eventually contact me. After a few days. I guess i could see were he was . This time I’m in the dark. He’s got enough money to purchase a ticket to go to California and make his “dreams” come true. Honestly I don’t want to have anything to do with that nor do I want the kids to be around it. His dreams are to make money driving weed back to the East Coast and selling it for profit. if this is your life goal and dream..... SMH.
I guess that he’s choosing to walk away from his kids is bothering me. The profile picture is of him and Alex. Like he’s father of the year. BUT that he will not invest a dime into them and tells me what a horrible caregiver I am. I’m so use to the name calling, the miss treatment, being screamed at that the ringing in my ears hasn’t stopped yet and that I know this is not over. Every time he does this I feel like I have to make plans that he will be gone forever. Every time he comes back. This time I know he’s pissed. This time I don’t know.........
I don’t think he knows that it was him that made me go. That he telling me that my story was getting annoying that made me go. I really had no choice but to stand up to him.
I know both of them feel that he needs mental health help. I don’t know from there what they will do or not do. He has to have a punishment for what he did and that I don’t think he will get nothing. They acted like he had a choice. If he doesn’t go to treatment you get an order of protection. I know that they can order him to get treatment. I know he yelled at the judge he wasn’t. So if he doesn’t what is his choice?? Does he have a choice?? It shouldn’t be choice #1 is jail. Choice #2 is fine and Choice #3 is to get mental health.... That is not how the courts work. It is up to the judge the last I know. I don’t think an outburst is in his favor. maybe I’m wrong and I’m listening to what he said.
So how long before the money is up .....